A Life In The Day

Have You Ever...

2010-04-10T18:40:00.000-07:00

Have you ever
imagined what your life would be?

Have you ever
imagined spending life with another?

Have you ever
imagined how your life would change?

Have you ever
imagined your love for another?

Have you ever
imagined the strength of your love?

Have you ever
had another share their life?

Have you ever
had another share their love?

Have you ever
felt the strength of that love?

Have you ever
been aware the other has changed?

Have you ever
felt the tug on your heart?

Have you ever
been betrayed and hurt by your love?

Have you ever
cried until your tears were all gone?

Have you ever
forgiven, and opened your heart once again?

Have you ever
felt the strength of your love return?

Have you ever
loved and trusted even more?

Only to feel the hurt once again.

Only to open your heart to the pain.

Only to cry...

Have you ever
forgiven and opened your heart yet again?

Rambling (rollin', rollin', rollin', ...)

2010-02-25T22:09:00.001-07:00

I MUST blog. I crave blogging. I miss blogging. Why you might ask? Therapy. Blogging is my therapy. Blogging gets the stuff out of my head and on a blank page. I cannot write in a diary. Not literally but I just do not have the discipline to sit down every night and write out what I believe to be my "oh, so insightful thoughts". I have 13 separate journals, diaries, notebooks or whatever you want to call them, all over the house, with only 2-5 pages of writing in each. So now on with the therapeutic rambling.

What is today? I'm pretty sure today is Thursday but I cannot be 100% because it feels like a Monday or maybe Tuesday. Wednesday? The days have been running together for the past two weeks. Way too busy at work. Way too busy at home. Between kids at school, reading as homework everynight, parent/teacher conferences and a Kindergarten "research" paper - Good Grief! No wonder the people of our wonderful country are so stressed out.

Do you remember that old commercial for Calgon? I think it was a water softener or bubble bath, anyway something to that extent. I wish, hope and pray for Calgon to take me away every single day. Now don't get me wrong, life is great. Actually quite wonderful in fact but everything is running together. Maybe that's a hint for exercise, you know, running. Nah!

Kids are good, hubby is good, I'm good except my body seems to be rebelling. Too much stress I think. Refresh my memory, how did I handle this same amount of activity 10 years ago? Psoriasis has been my major issue as of late. Started in July - dermatologist finally confirmed my original suspicion this week. Hmmmm? Maybe I should "practice" medicine. Back to my skin...they say psoriasis is brought on by stress. Hmm? Anyhow, new diagnosis, new medicine so now my skin seems to be finally getting better with the prescribed medicinal ointment. Yay! No more lizard skin!

Also abdominal issues. Pain in lower right abdomen. Nope, not appendix. The "practicing" doctors have taken all of the tests, taken much of my blood, poked, prodded (ouch!) and looked inside via MRI and sonogram. This situation cannot be seen like the skin probs but good grief there are times when the knife like pain is worse than contractions.

I have a new hobby in Facebooking. Reconnected with so many friends from High School and elementary school. It truly is amazing how you lose contact with your "best" friends of the time. Will be heading to hometown this weekend for a HS Reunion Happy Hour. Can't believe its been 25 years!

Have a new boss. He's absolutely great because he is housed out of Vegas. We communicate via email mostly and he's kind of wordy like I am. This boss seems to be able to keep me engaged at work, without hanging over my shoulder (figuritively), and is motivational through his encouragement.

Let's see, what else has changed? Still have Bear (dog) and Sassy Cat. Hubby bought Ben a 35 gallon fish tank so new fish are always showing up to replace those that have moved on to that great reef in the sky. Normally known as a toilet. Also rescued a cat when I decided to visit the animals behind the glass wall. Animal lovers beware! This is a bad idea. You will fall in love with the biggest cat that puts his arms around you, like a hug, and purrs like a Mac truck. Frankly, this was the best decision I have made in a long time - because he's mine and I love him dearly. He snores when he sleeps too.

I feel better. Thank you for reading and listening. I am off to bed for what I hope to be a restful night. Sleep well and sweet dreams fellow dot comrads.

Now Is The Right Time

2009-08-25T22:18:00.002-07:00

Evidently, August 7th was NOT the right time. Nor was the 8th, 9th, 10th, and so forth and so on until today's date. Actually, not even today is the right time.

I have been trying to blog about Ben's very first day of school since about... oh... say August 7th. I seem to have issues with my camera. I guess the major issue is I can't seem to find time to download my camera. Now, I don't know where my camera is. Not a helpful situation.

So, once I find my camera and get the pictures uploaded to my camera I will blog about Ben's first two weeks of school. I can say it has been quite the two weeks!

Who out there knew, Kindergartners have homework?

I will get back on this website, with pictures, stories and hopefully my sanity. See ya soon!

I Think It Might Be Time

2009-08-07T22:04:00.004-07:00

I think it might be time to change my blog a bit, update it, change it, maybe even start using it again!

I have realized though many days are contained in one life, you can also live life in a day. My updated blog will be about the life lived within the constraints of an every day ordinary life. From a child's cuts and scrapes to the naturzl beauty of the surrounding world.

Hmmmm..... I would appreciate thoughts and comments on the theme of the PhoenixJoaquin blogspot. Let me know.

LJ

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T01:24:00.004-07:00

The new year rang in quietly at the Joaquin home. Comfy PJs, a sleeping hubby in my lap, favorite movie on in the background.

My New Year's wish is to enjoy quiet moments throughout the year. Be still, listen, and enjoy all that is most precious. My wish is... Love Actually.

Wow! Long time... time for an update?

2008-11-13T22:57:00.004-07:00

The Navy Wife is alone no more. No longer coping while hubby is away. Time to change the header.

Jerry is home. He came home (stateside) the evening of September 14th, 2008. I met him at Pt. Mugu (Magoo) late the following day, in the cool (shivering) California coast night time air. Tears, hugs, kisses and lots of hugs ensued.

I was just so very happy he was finally home safe & sound. The world is right again. I am whole again.

J is adjusting well to civilian life. Only a couple anxious moments with traffic and crowds. That and the inability for him to stop and relax. There is always some project around the house that needs to be done. I guess it's hard to stop the 24/7 life.

I will update soon. Promise.

Ninety-Three Days & Counting

2008-06-10T22:28:00.005-07:00

We are finally on the downward trend so I am posting an update to Jerry's status over-seas. I will be sending my laptop over to him since his died a couple of days ago so I'm taking this opportunity to update all family, friends, and dot.comrades.

NMCB-17 has been working hard in the Al-Anbar province of Iraq building the 2nd largest bridge the SeaBees have ever built. Pretty cool huh - at least I think so. During the process a local Sheik visited the building site and brought food & tea a couple times a week for the troops. He loves the Americans and is grateful for the work they are doing. Specifically, a portion of the land the bridge was built on belongs to a family who has been working that land for over 200 years.I am trying to find pictures of the completed project but only the start of the project has been posted so far. Once I find something, I'll find a way to post updates as I can. Hopefully, Jerry's computer can be repaired fairly quickly so I can get mine back. Jerry has been doing well and the two month bridge project opened the opportunity for my husband to sport a mustache. Well, maybe mustache is overstating the caterpillar living on his upper lip. As I have already seen the growth via on-line video conferencing, he has since removed his facial project.

Jerry is the sailor (soldier) on the left. Hey! I guess this is a finished picture of the bridge (although you can't really see much of it).

Keep him (and us) in your prayers during this journey over the top of the hill. I look forward to the day, I can hold him in my arms and keep him all to myself for several days before returning him home to awaiting family. =)

Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day

2008-05-09T21:02:00.003-07:00

Winston Churchill once said to the british public, during the Battle of Britain, "They also serve, those who stand and wait".

Thank you to all the military spouses and families who stand and wait for their loved ones to return home.

God Bless.

Hey Jan - This one is for you!

2008-04-29T22:00:00.003-07:00

From left to right - sisters K&C, Just Laura, cousins Mike & Jan

My cousin Janice visits the post periodically and reports the occasional news to everyone back home in Illinois. I thought I'd honor her with a blast from the past. Jan is on the far right - another cousin Mike is next to her.

Jan came to visit (with other family as well) one summer in 1978 (the year after we relocated to AZ). I remember all of us kids sleeping in one bedroom with the scent of vinegar lofting through the air. Someone had gotten a sunburn and vinegar was applied for the its cooling effect.

I remember singing "Oleander, Oleander, Oleander, Oleander" to the theme of Hallelujah Chorus although I'm not sure how that one got started. Parents and older cousins went to Las Vegas and all of us minors =) stayed home with Grandma Mary.

Memories from the past - Jan played clarinet in high school (When The Saints Go Marching In and Bear Necessities) and had beads hanging in her room. A yellow T-Shirt with "Dangerous Curves" written on the front. 5yr age diff between the two of us?

Good times! Love you Jan!

The Heat Is On...

2008-04-28T23:34:00.006-07:00

98 degrees today. Triple digits are not far behind.

The worst part of the past couple weeks - allergies. I have not suffered from allergies this severe since 4th or 5th grade when we first moved to Arizona. My mom reminded me I used to be her little helper in the garden - just like Ben - until we moved. From that point on I was the inside helper.

I remember going to the nurse because I had something in my eye. At first glance the nurse thought I had pink-eye since my eyes were so red. No such luck. Allergies.

Ben wanted to play outside last week so I grabbed a book and figured he could run like a wild child while I sat peacefully with my literature. My nose (& eyes) started running but I stuck it out thinking this was the worst. An itchy face is fairly normal with my allergies - mind you I'm sitting on the patio, not rolling in the grass. A new symptom has reared it's ugly head on my face - a red rash & hives on my eye lids. Yippee!

I pray for the heat only because allergies lessen when things stop growing. And things stop growing in the dry Arizona heat of summer. Woo-hoo! ???

Welcome to the Neighborhood

2008-04-21T22:59:00.005-07:00

With the onset of spring comes life. We have a family of baby birds living in our saguaro cactus. The saguaro has boasted several large living areas with scenic views ever since we moved into the neighborhood. I have always seen local avians coming and going but no moving vans ever showed up. This evening as I was passing by, I could hear the small cry of hungry babies.

I believe we have a woodpecker family currently housed within the skeleton of the saguaro but I'm not sure. Parents seem to be gone in the early AM as I leave for work and home serving dinner before I am.

I will try to catch up our new neighbors sometime during the week and catch a snap shot or two for posting.

Updates

2008-04-19T11:06:00.002-07:00

Let's see, it's been quite the busy week. This post is more of an effort of memorization so I can remember what I need to put in my letter to Jerry. So much stuff is buzzing through my head, I always forget something. This is my list.

I actually finished our taxes on the 14th, which is fairly odd for me since I usually finish the first week in February. Procrastination is a way of life for me right now. It seems every issue that rears its ugly head is more important than the last and thus pushes everything else backwards. At the last minute, taxes became the MOST important issue - DONE! Check.

We (although not together) celebrated our fourth anniversary on Wednesday. I bought a bottle of wine I did not drink and a movie I didn't watch to celebrate the evening. Let's see, Ben was not very hungry and wanted cereal so we partook of raisin bran and soy milk, bathed Ben and fell asleep around 9:30pm. Isn't romance wonderful? (hee-hee)

Started a yoga class on Tuesday. Ninety minutes of yoga in a 103 degree room with 40% humidity. Aside from the obvious, sweat, the heart was a pumpin for pretty much the entire class. Who knew Yoga could be a cardio work out. Now you have to realize, I live in a very hot area and frequently work in the yard, walk and play with kids in this kind of heat. But wow, when you attempt to control your breathing (all nasal) as well as contorting your body into different poses - whew! I love it! Skin felt great, body feels alive, brain is more alert! Lots of water and electrolytes is a must. Anyway, the second class on Thursday was much better since I knew what to expect and frankly it didn't feel quite as hot either. I think I have finally found a workout routine I actually like. Will keep you updated.

Fixed a leaky sink (replaced fixture) in the kitchen last week but one small connection on the reverse osmosis was a problem, so I've been emptying a bowl of water every day. I forgot Thursday night and didn't realize until 2am last night (Friday). The particle board underneath was somewhat wet so Ben and I went to the hardware store to purchase a new replacement piece of plywood. After pulling up the old wood, I found the original cabinet bottom had rotted through and we have a mold issue. This is definitely something thats been around for a while - not just my little leak problem. Yick! Mold creeps me out. Anyway, Ben and I went back to the hardware store so I could get bleach, gloves and an air mask so I could get to cleaning. Decided to procrastinate again and spent some quality time with Ben, bathed him and read some books before putting him down @ 9:30ish. I'll work on the mold issue tomorrow when Bekah comes home.

Thought the washing maching issue was solved a couple weeks ago but guess what? - it has taken a crap on me again. Time to replace. More $$$$$ =(

Backyard is taking shape - weeds are disappearing a little bit each week. Storage has been utilized so clutter is also vanishing. The gazebo awning does need to be replaced since the sun did quite a number on it. Didn't even last a year! Moe (tortoise) has been out & about and still comes when called for dinner. Kind of scared me one evening when I was weeding by myself and felt a slight nudge on my leg (sitting on ground). I thought I was alone - Moe had come back out of his home to visit. Who knew reptiles had personality?

Truck did not pass emissions - need to make appointment for service. Recheck emissions, register.

Trees are growing wonderfully in the backyard (grapefruit, mandarin orange & jacarunda). These are the ones planted the same day Jerry went over seas. Ben wants to plant some more "stuff" but obviously other issues are pending. Maybe next weekend. Ben is a gardener. He loves to dig holes, water plants and even help weed. I love it - he's getting so very tall and looks like Jerry more and more each day!

Bekah is becoming closer & closer to teen-hood every day. She's one month away from the big thirteen! Moody, snotty, attitudinal. Also, much more helpful, aware, self-confident. I completely forgot (selective memory) teenage years can be such a contradiction. She can be so very sweet and loving one moment and snotty and disrespectful the next. I miss her so much when she's at her Dad's house, snot & all. She'll be back tomorrow and the house will feel better.

I'm sure there's more but this is a good start. Hopefully, I can keep up with the blog (once the mold is gone) a little more regularly.

I am still here...

2008-04-14T21:25:00.002-07:00

I've got a question for the Navy wives out there... or even the wives whose husbands are away for long periods of time.

I have come to the conclusion (just this weekend) I do not like to be home. Home is not complete without Jerry here. I am just not completely happy in this house I call home. I do not feel whole.

Is this normal?

I left for my parents house Friday evening within an hour of getting home. Packed up myself, Ben and Bear, loaded up the truck and took a drive. My parents didn't even know we were coming until I called from the road. Once there we had a great time. Ben was wonderful and we were able to spend much needed quality time together. Quality time is so much easier when all of your projects and to-do lists are 100 miles away! =)

Anyway, when Sunday evening arrived I did not want to come home. We actually woke up this morning at 5:30am and drove home this morning, unloaded the truck and ran off to work. Again, not spending too much time inside the house.

Am I losing my mind? Should I talk to someone about this?

Writing Contest

2008-03-21T11:09:00.001-07:00

So, during my blog travels last night around the world we know as the internet I stopped off at Jen Lancaster's place - Jennsylvania. I love to stop by and visit "with" her periodically because she absolutely cracks me up. I mean, snickering so loud in a waiting room (while reading her book) patients are commenting. Quite the comic genius in her writings.

Anyhow, evidently Jen was to sick to be her normally witty and creative self so she opened up a writing contest about a personal weight story - gained, lost, whatever. 500 words or less. I figured "What the Hay?" because the prize is an autographed copy of her newest book. And as I said earlier, she cracks me up. I have to try and I love her stuff.

This is my story. Definitely not motivational. It's not good or bad but somewhat indifferent. Kind of the way I've approached by weight.

I have always obsessed over my weight and here I sit writing about my non-committal attitude towards actually doing something about it. I haven’t always been overweight. In fact, I was a “string-bean” with knobby knees all through school and still I obsessed thinking I was too skinny. Now, the bigger boobs seem to act as a counterbalance so most people don’t notice the extra weight. I do.

Whether I’m conscientiously eating a nice healthy salad or downing an entire sleeve of Thin Mint cookies I constantly think about my weight. I think about what I need to do to get back on track and lose the 25 – 30 pounds I picked up along the way. I think about trying the “Mind Over Matter Weight Management System - Just think yourself thinner!” No I’m not an idiot, but I swear it’s happened before. When I was younger it seemed all I had to do was think about losing weight and, in the words of Emeril “BAM!”, the fat just fell right off. Nowadays the exact opposite occurs, I just think about those Peanut M&Ms and through the scientific process of osmosis those M&Ms somehow show up on my thighs.

Honestly, I have started to monitor my food intake because my doctor told me I’d probably have a longer, higher quality life without all the bread and cheese. Come on! I’m a Midwestern girl these things are dietary staples. All kidding aside, my cholesterol count was too high and my triglycerides were over the top. I’ve tried to cut fried foods out as much as possible and replace them with healthier alternatives. Other than the scheduled monthly chocolate requirement, snacks now include baby carrots, tomatoes and sugar-snap peas – sans dressing. Sadly, I haven’t lost much weight with my lower (complex)carb, lower cholesterol dining habits but I have to admit I do feel better and have more energy. I think I can even feel the blood flow more freely through my arteries.

Recently, I have been mentally (not yet physically) moving myself towards that four letter word… can I say it… EXERCISE! Wait! That’s nine letters. Anyway, I already have the elliptical, Pilates machine, exercise ball as well as a variety of exercise videos so I really don’t have any excuses. Except - when do I truly have time to exert this kind of energy and move my body? Full-time job, two kids, dog and cat aside, I suppose my nightly blog activity could be completed earlier in order to go to sleep at a decent hour thus enabling an earlier start to the day and take an early morning walk. It seems feasible.

So I guess it’s time to act, set the alarm a ½ hour earlier and start moving in some form or fashion. I really don’t have to like it I just have to do it. Hey! The morning walk may even tire my ever energetic, non-stop three year old son. Now that’s incentive!

Questions, Questions, & More Questions

2008-03-20T23:59:00.001-07:00

What color is your bra? - Black w/frisky comments in fuschia, pink, purple

Do you straighten your hair everyday? - No, it's bad to do it everyday

Do you worry about the size of your boobs? - Not really. However I'd like to be able to button a blouse all the way - I have to wear a tank 'cause normal shirts just don't fit over these things

What’s your favorite girly magazine? -

Would you kill for chocolate? - No, but I would trip them, grab the candy & run

Jeans or Skirts? - Jeans.

Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry that’s uncomfortable? - Sadly yes. I'm such a slave to fashion - HA! But yes.

Did you ever spend all day/night getting pretty for a guy? - Yup, my wedding day

Did you ever cry during a romantic movie? - Of course

Would you leave the house without makeup on? - Yeah, usually Home Depot runs

Do you consider making out “unladylike”? - No way

On a scale of 1-10, how fun is shopping? - Books are a definite 10

Are you spoiled? - Don't think so

Do you think lip gloss is the best? - Don't use it.

Do you freak out if you miss your favorite show? - Ya - Jericho

Do you yell a lot? - Embarrassed to say Yes. @ Ben mostly. Makes me sad to admit it.

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? - W/shower 1 hour, without 40 minutes, w/Ben around anywhere between 1 - 3 hours (honestly)

Do you wear sweatpants/pajama pants to school/work? - No. Pajama pants in public - come on, I'm an adult.

Accessories make the outfit; true or false? - True!

Is pink truly the best color in the entire universe? - I love pink, but no.

Lip gloss a must? - Not at all

Status? - Sleepy and stupid for staying up so late

Have you ever dressed unlike yourself to impress a guy? - No.

Do you often wish there was something you could change about yourself? - Yes, I'd like to finish something

Gold or silver? - Both. As long as its white gold

The guy that you like/love/whatever, what does his name begin with? - J

Do you dress up too much for holidays? - No, though I wish I had the opportunity

Do you like wearing dresses? - No, I'm with Sandi on this one. You have to sit like a lady with a dress on. Ugh!

Do you write a lot of mushy love poems? - Uh, No(t anymore)

What makeup could you not live without? - Bare Minerals Foundation

Greetings from Iraq!

2008-03-18T23:07:00.003-07:00

Yea! Slept really well last night could be due to the blessing of wonderful dreams of Jerry =) Had warm fuzzies all day thinking of him. All in all a great day!

Praying for good dreams again.

Heart is Breaking Tonight

2008-03-17T23:36:00.002-07:00

Recently, I have found it difficult to even visit some of the other Navy wives I frequest. Most times I receive support from their words of wisdom and even just knowing others are out there with the same circumstances is comforting. When a wife (or family) is in need I pray - I think its important people realize they are cared for and prayed over. But as I mentioned earlier, I have had a hard time visiting some of these posts.

The last few days visiting with these websites, I have come to miss my best friend even more. It seems that although I read stories from women around the country (even overseas) it makes the distances between Jerry and I so much more. More what? Real? Inconceivable? Far away? Expansive. I find it difficult to comment as I do not want my downward mood to effect others. Although here I am posting it tothe world.

I miss talking to him about the little stuff of life. The flowers blooming, the crack in the windshield, the rocks collected on walks. I think most of all I miss his presence. Just to know he was here in the house or just across the state line was bearable. An ocean? It's just too huge to comprehend.

It seems once a month (hmmmm... that seems kind of pattern like) it dawns on me how very far away he is. Sending a care package was even bittersweet. It's nice to know he will open the box and touch the same items I had touched. He'll enjoy the cookies sent and pictures Ben made for him. To see his expression when he pulls the picture of Ben's self portrait would be heaven.

This journal is my release and I'm hoping it helps enough to relieve the stress enough to enjoy a full night's sleep. Good night.

The ULTIMATE Peep Show!

2008-03-16T23:05:00.001-07:00

I had to keep the Peeps theme running around. I received this from one of my sisters at my work email and to see the Subject line, I was a little taken aback (same as Blog Title). I don't know who put this together but very clever indeed!

Enjoy the Peep show and check out those chicks - Wow!

I Just Knew It...

2008-03-14T22:08:00.007-07:00

So guess what? My prediction for the spring forecast was correct (see previous blog) - I went & screwed it all up. We've been ranging the mid to low 80s for the past week(s) and its been kind of nice to work in the yard and work on some color before swimsuit season.

Weather person indicated during the news earlier this morning, "If you have outdoor stuff for the weekend, get it done on Saturday." Evidently, our high for Saturday will be around 78 and sunny (not altogether odd for AZ). But Sunday, high of 64, cloudy with chance of rain.

Maybe I should do the ultimate outdoor activity and wash my car just to clinch the inclement weather around the corner. I guess Ben and I will work on getting the backyard mowed and trimmed before grass & weeds are too high to deal with. (see the weeds over there under Ben's right hand - it's in his sandbox)

For those of you with temps below 64 - I do not mock our low temps or believe them to be even close to yours. I just don't want to give up my shorts so soon - I was kind of enjoying the shorts and tank weather.

Spring Has Arrived

2008-03-13T23:52:00.016-07:00

Now that I have absolutely jinxed the entire spring process for the Sonoran Desert...

It is spring here in the SW Desert known as Sonora. My job frequently takes me to different places throughout the state and I love this area. Yes, the summer is hot, sweltering hot but as they say it is a dry heat and as long as you drink lots of water survival is easy. Anyhow, my travels are very routine and frankly the sometimes 3 hour one way drives can get monotonous to say the least. I have taken to looking at the map and trying to differ my routes to various state highways and other roads.

Earlier this week, I took my camera with me and was able to snap a couple pictures of spring taking over the hills. Poppies cover numerous hillsides and bright purple, yellow and red flowers color the local roadways. I am always impressed by the palette of vibrant colors available for my senses to experience here in the desert. Aside from the recent cool weather (mid 80s), spring is the best time to experience the Sonoran Desert.

As I travel throughout the state, I will bring my camera and hopefully introduce my readers to the wonders of my home. Soon, our state tree, the Palo Verde (spanish for green stick) will start to bloom and I'll do my best to show them in their glory.

A Couple of Weeks Ago... (Part II)

2008-03-12T21:56:00.008-07:00

(continued from March 9, 2008 posting)
So Ben and I climbed aboard a train earlier in the morning and arrived in Oxnard, CA later in the evening. As noted Jerry and I had wonderful Alaskan Cod from a small restaurant in Ventura, fell asleep and woke up the next morning together.

After Jerry headed off for another day of duty, Ben and I remained in bed asleep for a couple more hours. Rested, showered and dressed for a cool California day we awaited Jerry's return to our hotel room. He arrived later that morning and we all headed to the Santa Barbara zoo. Upon seeing the ocean and filling my senses with a cool ocean breeze all of the stress from the previous four months were blown away by that same breeze. I miss the smell and constant sound of the ocean waves crashing on the shore. Anyway, I digress.

Sadly, the day was cloudy, windy and from time to time fairly rainy. We strolled through the zoo enjoying the cool breezes and exotic animals prowling about. Giraffes, gibbons, leopards, parrots, elephants and numerous other mammels and amphibiens were on hand to attract the attention of our excitable three year old. Ben is partial to otters. We aren't sure why but he absolutely loves otters and it doesn't matter what zoo he's in the otters hold his typically sound-byte length attention.

My amazement was held by the lush greenery and tropical flowers through out the zoo. I couldn't get enough of the colors and waxy looking petals. In fact, the family was separated several times due to my photo safari through out the afternoon. In a matter of seconds my men would be around the corner and up the next hill before I even noticed they were gone. Hmmmmm.... alone time? Okay, I have to say I wasn't in a hurry to catch up. In fact, I wasn't in a hurry at all the entire time we were in California.

Once the rain started to fall a little harder and for longer periods of time we decided to pack it in and find a place to eat. But not before visiting the nearby beach. Ben fell asleep in the car so I kicked off my tennies, rolled up my pants and went for a walk. Jerry hung back in the truck just in case Ben woke up while I splashed in the cold surf. Again, even more stress was released from both body & mind.

Jerry drove us "home" to Ventura and he introduced us to Ericsson's Ventura, California. The restaurant itself is located on the boardwalk over the beach. From what I understand the restaurant was originally situated at the end of the pier but was beaten by the watery fury of mother nature. Waves. =) Anyway, our evening began on the deck of the bar with a couple of cocktails and some wonderful calamari (Ben's favorite). Once the restaurant opened we were seated at a window table in the corner - one hundred and eighty degrees of ocean beauty. Aside from the antics of an extremely tired 3 year old who refused to sit in his chair, dinner was wonderful.

Again, we ended up in the hotel room, as a family, getting ready for bed. We snuggled, slept comfortably until the next morning when once again we awoke... together.

FYI - for more pictures from our trip (and others) click here for photos by Just Laura. They are a little disorganized but there for enjoyment by all.

News from abroad

2008-03-11T22:21:00.003-07:00

Jerry called this morning. He has arrived at his final destination since leaving the states 2 weeks ago. He is well but very tired. Long duty days. Chow is great where he's at. The ever loved iPod has gone missing after the long trip. Currently in tents but will be housed in 2 man rooms. Once he's at "home" he'll set up the computer so we can visit together via web-cam and read books to Ben.

Keep your prayers coming!

Get Well Soon

2008-03-11T03:09:00.004-07:00

Virtual flowers for an online dot.comrade. From a real bouquet @ friends party.

Hope you are up and around the LemonadeStand soon.

A Couple of Weeks Ago... (Part I)

2008-03-10T21:55:00.005-07:00

So... I lied. It is now March 10th and I'm just getting to this. My bags aren't even unpacked yet - does that help?

A couple of weeks ago Ben and I boarded a train @ 2:30 in the morning in order to visit Jerry for Family Weekend. At 2:32 we climb aboard the sleeper car with way too many carry ons, change for bed and sit to watch the moonlit scenery whiz past the windows of our car. Much to my disdain Ben is way too excited to sleep and keeps making comments about the view. In order to paint a better picture he is on the top bunk peeking through a one inch gap between his mattress and the window. Yak, yak, yak - I seem to recall a time when I was waiting (& wanting) my baby boy to say his first words. After several pleadings I have somehow cajoled Ben into remaining quiet for 20 minutes. Once an acceptable amount of time has passed and I'm positive he's sleeping, I relax enough for sleep to wash over me.

Jolted out of the falling asleep feeling is a tiny voice calling out "Mama, me sleep with you?". What can I say? My 24" bunk has way too much room for me to sleep comfortably. The rest of the night, I am perched on the edge of the bunk on my side while sleepy noises come from the foot side of my bunk. At least someone got a good nights rest - even though it was only for 3 hours.

Around 6:30 I woke up to a beach side view. Am I on the wrong train? No, we were passing by the Salton Sea - heard of it but never saw it before. Ben wakes up shortly after and wants to go for a walk. We dress and head to breakfast in the dining car. Fully re-fueled we are touring the train and take a rest in the lounge car. Ben is quite impressed with the full-wall windows rising into the ceiling. Took a nap in our car - both of us. Yea!

After switching trains in Los Angeles we begin the meandering trip up the coast in our commuter train. Stopping every 15-20 minutes and sitting in coach. At this point the train effect still has hold of Ben but he's definitely antsy. I liked our little room in which we could hole up & relax. Anyhow, we arrive in Oxnard around 4:30ish. Jerry picked us up and took us and all of our cargo to the hotel room.

Once Jerry was off duty we went to wharf in Ventura to order fish & chips. I have to say the fish would have been better hot but I must say this was the best fish I've ever eaten, even cold. Ben fell asleep on the way. Jerry and I fell asleep a little while later.

The best part of this first day was waking up with Jerry. Even at 0500 since duty calls early.

Just a couple of things....

2008-02-26T17:47:00.004-07:00

Thank you for the replies to the previous post regarding monster 3 year old issues. I do appreciate the help and will try both milk substitute (already started) and mommy time outs.
What is "Meme"? I see it everywhere and don't quite understand.
Will update blog starting tonight - just got back from CA, hubby "ships out" Saturday. =(

Calling all Moms - Help!

2008-02-15T16:38:00.006-07:00

The household is complete and at peace (not literally). Jerry is home on leave for the weekend.

I went to work this morning, late but nonetheless there, and Jerry decided to hang with Ben. Ben decided not to leave his papa out of site. He asked him earlier this morning "you go bye-bye gain?". Papa told him the truth and said he wouldn't leave for a few days. They made breakfast together, did laundry (yea!) and went to Toys R Us. McDonald's lunch was on the menu and it was there Ben decided to make a stand. Against Papa!

He wouldn't listen, decided he would do anything he wanted whenever he wanted and posed fits of... well, we'll just say fits. Papa decided it was time to come home and take a nap. Ben was not happy with the situation but laid down in bed while Jerry laid on the couch. Jerry awoke about 40 minutes later to find Ben in bed with an entire plate of Valentine's day cupcakes. He was licking the frosting off and throwing the cake part across the room. He also hid the cell phone on which I had left messages earlier and who knows what else. Sadly, Jerry got a small taste of what it has been like since he's been gone.

When I arrived home, Ben was in bed - not quite sleeping I might note. But throwing pillows, blankets and diapers around his room. Good news - the diapers were new. Bad news - the diapers were new. Did I mention, he wasn't wearing pants (or a diaper)? Ben... not Jerry. I got him re-dressed and he is now in the living room playing a video game while Papa attempts to nap on the couch. At least I'm hoping he's still playing quietly.

Suggestions for an unruly 3 year old? Definitely thinking about switching to soy and away from milk at this point. I need to try something as timeouts and spanking doesn't seem to work.

JL

Adults are In The House

2008-02-01T23:49:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if anyone out there can appreciate the feeling of relief knowing, when you get home from work, other adults are waiting for your return. Words escape me at this very moment so I am unable to explain.

My parents are here. I had an awful day, evening and night Wednesday, called them on Thursday and pleaded for help. They are here and I am truly blessed to have two parents come to my rescue. Much was accomplished tonight. Grandpa helped with discipline. Grandma helped in the kitchen. Bekah helped in the living room. I continued with the never ending piles of laundry. Family at it's best.

Only one thing could have made it better. Jerry. Although, if Jerry were here, a rescue would be unnecessary - I think... Anyway, to keep you all updated - Jerry is still in training and we will be headed over for Family Weekend at the end of the month. His battallion leaves shortly after that weekend and thus starts his tour of duty. It's an odd sensation to realize your other half won't be just a phone call away. Surreal actually. Uncomprehensible.

Yesterday, I read (on a friend's desk) "Faith makes all things possible. Not easy." So very true - I know we will make it through this season with God's grace. Please pray for Jerry's safety, my sanity, and both kid's sense of family.

JL

Just A Thought....

2008-01-31T23:04:00.000-07:00

I think it may be time to make a come back into the blogosphere. It's been almost a month since I've been on and I'm losing my mind. Getting more sleep but definitely losing my sanity. I have come to the realization that this blog is written more for myself than to keep hubby updated on homefront news. This is my emotional outlet and creative distraction. I love to read blogs from all of the .dot comrades out there - you are helping to keep a mother on the edge. period. You keep me from tipping over the edge. Thank you!

Frankly, I've experienced days in recent, very recent past that I was happy Monday came around and sad that I must leave to come home. You see, I think this having it all and doing it all by yourself thing is wearing a bit thin. I have a three year old, an almost thirteen year old, a stressful job, no hubby to hug @ night and a disorganized house. Uggggh! Why doesn't Calgon come and take me away?

Mommy and Daddy are coming tomorrow - hopefully they can run interference so I can drown myself in deep therapy. House Cleaning! It will also be nice to have adults in the house, I tend to believe the knowledge of just knowing there are others like me hanging out in the next room will be peace enough.

JL

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2008-01-03T22:43:00.000-07:00

Another year has come and gone... wow!

New Years Eve found Jerry and I spending a quiet evening at home watching movies. We rang in the New Year with bottle of champagne and watched the ball drop (recorded earlier) in Times Square. We were in bed by 12:30am.

Jerry arrived early for Christmas (by two days) and was able to help pick out the Christmas tree and enjoy pre-Christmas festivities. Watching Christmas movies is a favorite in our family - well at least for me. My sister K and my mom decorated the tree (Thank you, Thank you, Thank you) on Christmas Eve while I wrapped gifts. Mom went to bed around 2ish and K left around 5am to catch what was left of the sugar plum dreamland. I fell asleep on the couch bathed in the lights from the tree. Lucky for all of us Ben didn't wake up until later so we were able to snooze a bit longer. (1st Christmas present!)

My parents were already here at home, Jerry came early, Bekah was dropped off by her Dad early and both sisters (KandC) arrived mid morning to open gifts. By the time all had arrived, breakfast pastries were cooling on the stove and the aroma of coffee filled the house. Merriment ensued and everyone had a great time.

Jerry cooked the Christmas feast and decided to make turkey, ham, and even roast beast. My mom made a traditional Polska (polish) sausage and kraut as well. It was a wonderful time had by all!

Typically, I'm quite the obsessive compulsive Christmas decorator. Lights and holly, mistle-toe and candles. It just didn't happen this year. My house wasn't decorated or even spic & span but having Jerry home was the best Christmas present I could possibly ask for. Even though he's the one who had to point out that small tidbit.

I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas Season and a Happy New Years Eve! I pray 2008 finds all with peace of mind, joy in your spirit and love in your heart.

Catching Up

2007-12-11T22:08:00.000-07:00

Tis the season to be busy... and moody. I have been attempting to clean my house so I can move furniture to make room for a Christmas tree. Why does everything hinge on a clean house?

Anyway, during the past couple of weeks since Thanksgiving I have been keeping up on the daily blogs I visit. However, I believe it is fairly evident by the lack of blogging on my part... the blog is suffering. I plan to remedy this situation although I'm not sure how.

I wanted to introduce my little family. The picture is of my children and me (bad picture). Anyway, Ben is obviously the youngest and very much like Calvin of the beloved comic strip Calvin and Hobbes. He was actually almost named Calvin. He is quite bright and makes attempts at being sly. Scary thought - he gets better at stealth as each day passes.

Rebekah is my first... and tallest. She wears the same size shoe I do! I feel bad for her because once her foot grows a tad more all of the very cute shoes in her collection will find their way to my closet. Oh come on, I have to put a positive spin on it. Anyway, Bekah is the greatest help right now intervening with Ben.

After a request from my sister to post child are, I will soon begin a new blog page with both Ben's and Bekah's art. Will post a grand opening date once I have a little more time to get organized. I am hoping to start at New Years.

5 Things...

2007-12-07T00:07:00.000-07:00

I am going to consider myself "tagged" by one of .dot comrades. I went to her site earlier to check in and found 5 Things about her - she had been tagged by a friend. So here I sit tagged and contemplating my five things. By the way, if you're reading this, you must realize you've been tagged as well.

1 - I suffer (or I'd prefer to say "deal with") social anxiety. I believe I have a pretty good personality which most people see once I've been around for a while. Its that initial meeting, the from the hip type of encounters that render me almost helpless. Oddly enough, I'm a sales person and work on the anxiety every day. There are some days I sit in my car for a few minutes in order to "talk myself into" (practicing) the impending meeting.

2- I think I'm afraid of success. This is a fairly recent discovery about myself so I think I'll talk more about it later. Stay tuned for blog - film at 11!

3 - I play the viola. One of the reasons I picked the scroll work for my id. My happiest memories from school are when I was playing. I haven't played in years but will be picking up shortly. I'm waiting for the holiday season to pan out and then start practicing again. This is one of those doomed success stories that I'll blog about later. I am determined to dust it off, tune it and pour out my passion on the strings.

4 - I sleep with a Teddy Bear. Yep I really do. I received this bear as a Christmas present from a boyfriend years ago (20 or so) and he (Bear) goes with me everywhere. Business trips, vacations, car rides and even camping. Some people sleep with body pillows, I sleep with a bear.

5 - I miss my cat tremendously. No his name was not tremendously it was Emerson. ha-ha (sorry) He was my first adult pet (I was the adult not him). He always knew when I had "one of those days", would come to me when I'd cry and loved me unconditionally. He was 17 years old when I had to help him from this world. I was there with him and wouldn't have had it any other way. The doctor let me sit with him for as long as I needed so I was able to say good bye, love him with pets and cry in his fur one last time.

Sorry for the rather melancholy blog. I've noticed my thoughts flow much easier with the sad stuff - WTF? Happy stuff does happen here in this Sonoran home and I will write on those occasions in the future.

so... Tagged! You're It!

Over the River and Through The Woods...

2007-12-06T22:57:00.000-07:00

Almost eerily quiet. A weird kind of quiet - there is definitely something, or someone, missing from this picture. Ben!

Grandma took Ben last night - he wanted to visit the farm at Ramah's house. So we packed him up and sent him packing. Bekah, C and I went Christmas shopping for a few hours, had dinner at 9:30pm and then returned home packages in trunk. No PJs, teeth brushing, books, rocking or prayers. Although peaceful, sad as well. =(

He was over at the farm all day today and evidently didn't want to come home. Grandma asked if he wanted to "go home with Mom or stay another day". Since there are no small children underfoot the choice he made is obvious. He'll be home tomorrow morning before work. I miss his presence (even as loud as it can be sometimes).

I'm going to bed early and as most of you who visit know, 11pm is early for me. Good night!

Crafty Kid

2007-12-05T20:55:00.000-07:00

I knew Ben was a smart kid (and yes I'm biased) but this afternoon was the best story I had heard in a while.

BACKGROUND: Ben's grandmother (Ramah) watches him once a week. As the typical grandparent she pretty much gives in to Ben's every whim. He used to get a piece of gum whenever she came over until he started putting it anywhere he pleased. Now, she hides her purse each time she's here.

Wrench and stool in hand, Ben passes right by grandma as she is walking from the living room. At this point she decides it's time to follow the child. He walks into the office, puts the stool on the floor next to the table and climbs up. Using the wrench he snags the purse, carefully hidden behind some painting supplies, and pulls it towards the edge of the table. His reward is in sight! A pack of gum is within his reach and it's all his!

As children will be children Ben does not realize grandma is right there to stop the theivery. I think she let him have the gum. After all grandmas will be grandmas.

Time to find a new hiding spot...

dookie in the Toilet

2007-12-04T23:29:00.000-07:00

Nope. This isn't a post about my sister's puppy. But isn't she so very cute?

I am actually writing about dookie in the potty. You know poo, poopies, dookie, s!&*. Sorry but it has to happen.

Ben pooped in the potty all by himself tonight. Yippee!!!! What a big boy!

He's been using the potty more and more every day but absolutely refusing to poo. Just after getting ready for bedtime (it couldn't have been just before) he decided to use the potty. He had already pottied earlier so I figured it would be quick. He was in there for a good 10-15 minutes. Grunting away. He kept saying things like "oooh", "cool", and "thats a big one". Definitely a boy - even with Papa away, we're working on keeping the guy comments around. (hee-hee)

What an incredible obstacle to overcome. Hopefully he will continued tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, etc. etc. I am so very happy for him (and me too!).

Today the potty - tomorrow the pacifier. Yes, you heard me correctly. {heavy sigh}

Tears Keep Coming

2007-12-02T23:20:00.000-07:00

Meloncholy. Sad. Broken Hearted. Tearful. (punky modds just don't cover them all)

It's been one of those weekends. Anxiety started on Thursday and the tears started tonight. The weekend activities of cleaning, organizing and shopping are over and the kids are in bed. The house is cold and may be one of the reasons it feels so lonely. I can't seem to shake the weepiness. Although my eyes will bear the brunt of the situation I'm thinking a quiet and secluded tear-fest in bed might help.

I want to apologize for the pity party tonight but I need to try & get it out and on paper (so to speak).

My heart feels broken tonight. Ben asked to call Daddy tonight but he's unreachable for the next three weeks. I long for his hug and shoulder to cry on.

Distracted but Time To Write Again

2007-11-28T22:53:00.001-07:00

I have to announce I was truly blessed and thankful last Thursday. One week ago Ben and I traveled down to Tucson to spend Thanksgiving with my family. Scoobers was to come down either late Wed or early on Thurs - anyway, my mom and I stayed up working on crosswords and just... stuff. I was exhausted after going to bed at 3:00am the night before (the night I baked pies). Anyway, as I was just starting off to bed my dog, Bear, was acting odd - someone was at the front door. Jerry was waiting as I opened the door, thinking it was my sister. Yes, I cried, we hugged. It was quite the moment.

Typical government entity, the decision went back & forth and finally they were told Thanksgiving was in their future. From what I understand he had worked with both my sister and my mom in order to pull off the surprise. Yes, they knew. Which explains why my mom was trying to keep me awake and also why both of my parents worked so hard to make the guest room absolutely perfect. My honey was home for two days!

He is back in training and currently involved with field training. I won't hear from him until the 10th. But yippee yahoo! He'll be home for 10 days at Christmas!!! I'm on vacation those days too - hmmmmm... go figure.

I am attempting to get my Christmas shopping done online at night after Ben goes down for bed (which has been late every night). Remember when Jerry left the first time? Yep - same situation only much more obedient. I will keep all in touch as I can - I truly love this time of year and will post pics as well!

Fruits of My Labor

2007-11-20T23:47:00.000-07:00

The house smells absolutely yummy. I think it's the nutmeg that makes pumpkin pie smell so very heavenly. I started baking around 9:40pm. Yes, I know it's late but Ben would not fall asleep and I didn't want to distract him from sleepy time thoughts. So anyway, here it is around midnight and I have four pies baked for Thanksgiving. Two will be coming home with me to my parent's house in Tucson and the rest are for well deserving friends.

It's late but I am so very relaxed and content because I was able to do the one thing I so enjoy this time of year. Baking for others. Sure I like to nibble and to sample the wares but I love to package up cookies and send pies home with friends.

I bake my pumpkin pies from scratch. Yup from the actual squash. Typically, I will use the meat from the Halloween Jack O'Lantern (I freeze it). This year we didn't have time to carve a pumpkin much less even pick one up. I've noticed a lot of stores don't carry pumpkins once Halloween is over. I'm not sure where all of those left over pumpkins are taken. I'd like to say they are taken back to the farm where they can once again be free but I'm more inclined towards the cannery option.

I like the process of baking as well as the end result. Taking raw ingredients, cooking them up, mixing all of those delectable spices together with the pumpkin and finally pouring the mixture into a well made pie shell. A grandmotherly type by the name of Marie Callendar makes the shells as I have not yet perfected the art of the shell. Easier too. Anyway, the house smells delicious, I have pies to spare and I feel good.

In about 30 minutes I will have six full size pies and four smaller individual pies. Best of all I was able to throw the seeds in the oven as well so I'm pretty well stocked on both regular seeds and garlic flavor.

Opinions, Thoughts, Reviews wanted.

2007-11-20T20:10:00.000-07:00

Last week I blogged about losing the ball. You know.. the one I'm usually on but has recently bounced away? I received several comments about Palm Pilots seeming to help the loss of a mind.

I would truly appreciate your reviews of the type you currently use, used to use or even dream of using. I love Outlook and use it often at work so I am definitely in need of a much more portable version. Sounds like a great Christmas suggestion to me!

Quitting NaBloPoMo

2007-11-19T23:17:00.000-07:00

Well... I took some time this weekend for me... in a manner of speaking. I watched movies with Bekah and Ben, cleaned my kitchen (although you couldn't tell now), took naps, caught up on HGtv, cleaned my bedroom, watched an entire movie start to finish in one sitting, finished another book and finished laundry (again). Look at the dresser - there is actually wood on there!

I did not blog all weekend and actually didn't even turn my computer on. No surfing, didn't check email and didn't blog. So... in order to keep from losing my mind I quit NaBloPoMo.

Ben has been so much better since I've been watching his sugar intake. I have Kris (daycare provider) watching the sugar as well. By the way, did you know grapes have sugar in them? Natural yes but still sugar. I think the deletion of a usually ever present parent is the biggest impact but I think he's adjusting well. I know he's sleeping longer and better.

We lay down on the big king size bed every night to read a pile of books. His current favorite is "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" by Eric Carle. Ben loves the cute story and laughs in all of the right places. His personal reading time of 10 minutes or so is usually spent looking through a "word" book. It's a picture book with all sorts of scenes in which the things / people are labeled so kids can learn the names of common household items. There is a grumpy cat in every picture he loves to look for.

I am still sick but on medication which of course makes me drowsy. It also makes me cough which wakes me up throughout the night but as long as I get better so be it. So I better get to it if I want to be any sort of useful tomorrow.

Home-made pumpkin pies, from scratch, were the efforts of tonight - pictures & instructions to follow. =)

Thank you JJ for commenting on the last blog post. It's nice to know family in other parts of the country is keeping updated. I've never been the greatest correspondent so hopefully this will suffice.

Perfect Day

2007-11-15T23:53:00.000-07:00

For most Arizonans, today could be considered one of those perfect days. Cloudy, rainy and somewhat cool. The temp never climbed over the mid 70's so I was able to wear a sweater. Yes, I wore a sweater to work.

I will never understand the biting wind, mind numbing cold in which so many Midwesterners and East coasters deal with every winter. Today was the beginning of sweater weather and that makes for the perfect day. Only temperatures in the mid 60s would have been better.

I can't believe I have succumbed to the weather in order to make my daily blog deadline. I'm going back to my NyQuil induced sleep and hopefully will wake up with my voice.

Good Night!

Where did the ball go?

2007-11-14T23:07:00.000-07:00

I'm looking for advice so feel free to comment up a storm. Tell me to get a life, get my *ss in gear, whatever - I just cannot seem to get my head in the game. People tell me I have a lot on my mind (really?), not to worry, it's just natural all things considered. Come on! I'm a professional and when I don't pull my weight (which is a lot) I'm not happy with myself. (blah)

I've been working @ my company for 12 years now. I've held a variety of positions from secretary to management. I am currently in sales with a quota over my head. Now, typical of most sales jobs, there is a lot of middle mgmt over me that likes to put their finger in the mix to stir things up. Specifically things that deter me from the primary goal - making money. Sales.

We have mandatory training (on-line & classroom) , customer calls, customer visits, report after report and like all other jobs the stuff someone else is supposed to handle but doesn't so you have to do it yourself so it gets done properly. Well I play the game. I use the tools given to me, turn in my reports (when I remember and I'll get to that later), make the calls, visit the clients, etc. When in a normal work day am I supposed to sell something? That aside the main problem is as follows.

The main problem (in my opinion) is my brain. I miss appointments that are clearly written on my calendar, forget to answer voice mail, not followed up on the "sure thing" sale which by the way I end up losing. I've even forgotten to hit the button on my emailed proposal and once again end up blowing off my client. WHISKEY-FOXTROT-TANGO! (military for WTF)

Yes, I have been distracted. Hmmmmm.... who wouldn't be with their husband somewhere else for a long period of time. Like I said, I'm doing the footwork, logging the calls and miles on my car but I just cannot get my mind back into the game. I have always been one of the most conscientious (spelling?) worker bee out there and by the way I don't cheat or steal to get my customers.

My sales suck big time right now and I feel like the biggest loser and failure because I can't even focus on the job. I haven't given 100% in a long time... 75% is hard enough. God, I hate that.

How do I get my head back in the game? How do I remember all of the things to do during a day? (obviously writing it down doesn't work) Any ideas out there? Things that have worked for you? Not worked? Uggghhhhh!

This situation has me absolutely flustered. I have always been on the go and on the ball. The ball rolled away somewhere and I kind of need to find it!

Seven Things...

2007-11-13T23:33:00.000-07:00

Okay, I've accepted another tag from Mandy Lou. I'm still feeling very sentimental from Veteran's Day so I'm going to be somewhat serious (at least in the beginning) about seven things I am grateful for...

1. Jesus' sacrifice on the cross - I am grateful for redemption. God doesn't require anything of us except to acknowledge the sacrifice is personal. If I were the only person on earth, he still would have been on that cross. Starting off rather serious but my faith is a very important part of who I am.

2. My husband and children. I am so very proud of Jerry and love him muchly. My children, Bekah and Ben, bring joy into my life each and every day. As much as I write about the trials and tribulations of family life - they are truly few and far between. For some reason they just seem bigger at the time. The simple hugs and smooches throughout the day are great but my favorite is rocking (in a chair not "out") right before bed.

3. My family. I have truly been blessed with wonderful parents who are still together after 41 years and two incredible sisters to whom I can turn to in any crisis.

4. To be born in the United States of America. With everything going on throughout the world our country is pretty damn cool! Where else in the world can you burn the national flag and protest the government without fear of any retribution. Freedom is definitely not free but as long as you're willing to work hard, we Americans can achieve absolutely anything!

5. The sound of waves hitting the shore. Whether the waves are crashing on the rocks or rustling on the sand during low tide. It is a constant and reassuring sound. I could sit for hours on the beach, close my eyes and just listen. Oh wait! I have done that.

6. The Internet has opened up a world of quick and easy research. I remember the days of card catalogs and stacks of books. Although, I am grateful for books because I love to reach. The updated information and pictures make spanning the globe so much easier. It has given me the desire to travel overseas - I never wanted to do that before. Maybe that's age speaking =)

7. Squirrels. Yes, Mandy Lou your post inspired me . I mean really, what would happen to all of the nuts that fall from trees if not for squirrels. Hee-hee.

8. One more!! Starbucks. I had my first latte at a Starbucks in Seattle in 1992(ish) way before they became nation wide. Yummy! I was hooked! Starbucks has been quite the life saver on business road trips after a night of little sleep. Venti Soy Mocha No Whip is my drink. I definitely prefer the holiday treat of Peppermint Mocha with Whip and sprinkles but the soy sits better due to lactose intolerance (TMI?).

See, I started off very serious but worked my way down to the small things in life.

THANK YOU!

2007-11-12T21:56:00.000-07:00

Today is a fairly emotional one as I think of my very own veteran who is currently training for deployment. He is a Navy SeaBee reservist who has recently been activated. My thoughts, though they linger on my husband, have strayed to times past and other vets I know. I would like to say...

Thank you for your service to our beloved United States of America.

Thank you Jerry for your service today.

Thank you Daddy for your service in the 60s.

Thank you Uncle Ed for your service during the Korean War.

Thank you Alex for your years of service in the Air Force.

Thank you John.

Thank you Scott.

Thank you Yvonne.

Thank you to the thousands of soldiers and sailors who have put their lives in harm's way to defend our freedoms as well as the right to freedom for millions of people around the world.

The sacrifice of these men and women have been made in a number of ways. Throughout the years these Americans have volunteered, recruited and even drafted for service to their country. No matter what the reason for enlisting, each and every one of them has sacrificed something from their life in order to protect the freedoms we enjoy. Time, energy, long periods away from family - some have even given the ultimate sacrifice - their life.

Veterans are a part of our every day life. Veterans are our neighbors, co-workers, friends and family. Veterans are our living heroes.

Say "Thank You" today and every day!

Cries from the room down the hall...

2007-11-11T17:45:00.000-07:00

...As I sit here, attempting to relax and suffer quietly with my sinus issues, I hear cries from the room down the hall. The room in question would by our bedroom and the cries are coming from Ben (who would have guessed). He is playing XBox with Bekah and yes, I've heard her "cries" of frustration as well. She is helping out today in a big way since my head like a balloon full of lead snot (sorry). My eyes are like little slits due to the light sensitivity and the computer screen isn't cooperating either. But I missed blogging yesterday so I'm feeling slightly guilty about the whole NaBloPoMo thing. Oh well....

Anyhow, Bekah had a friend over last night and they were up until 2am or maybe 2:30am. I'm not exactly sure because I was up to get some Tylenol for the headache I thought was due to lack of sleep. It's actually been a very good day for the family - went to church (10 minutes late) this morning, stopped at the grocery store to stock up on good wholesome veggies & fruit and then home for nap time. Once again I got to sleep longer than Ben because Bekah kept him occupied until I struggled out of bed.

Yesterday was a great day as well - my punkymood indicated I was content. Did laundry, washed dishes, picked up around the house (although you'd never be able to tell today) and mowed the lawn (with the neighbor's mower - different story, different day).

Oh yeah! Bekah got her hair cut and so did Ben! Bekah's hair is an above the shoulders bob with side bangs and Ben proudly shows off his new "Papa Hair". I'm not a huge fan of the military buzz cut on kids since it makes them look so much older but he is the man of the house now. He still looks cute and he rubs his hand on the top of his head when he says "Me have Papa hair". Jerry would be proud.

Bekah just came in to inform me Ben doesn't know how to drive very well on XBox. No kidding - he is only 3 after all! I can't drive very well on video games - I'm more of the Splinter Cell kind of gal. Bekah would like some real competition so I told her if we could get Ben into bed at a decent hour I'd come in to play. Hoping the ibuprofen starts to work by then.

I am signing off for the night in order to spend some time with kids in the room down the hall. By the way, the sounds I hear now are carefree and jubilant. I hear the laughter of children.

P.S. Mandy Lou - I have to admit this to you. I really, really want to whine about feeling crappy and sick. Ugh!

What's going on with my sweet boy?

2007-11-09T21:59:00.000-07:00

So here I sit wondering why my son is out of control. I spoke with his daycare provider this evening and she confirmed the behavior issues as well.

Good news - it's not just me.

Bad news - it's not just me.

A couple theories on the issues are rolling through my oh so exhausted grey matter. One - Ben misses his Papa and does not know how to express these feelings. Makes perfect sense all things considered. Number two is a much more involved theory although not impossible nor out of the realm of possibility. A possible food allergy. It has been proven by nutritionists that food allergies can effect a person's behavior and even much more so in a child.

This weekend not only will I be working on the behavior issues but talking more to Ben about his Papa. I am also starting a food journal so I can keep track of everything going in (and through) his little body. Prayer is even bigger at this point in time. Ben and I pray everyday.

Any thoughts on this?

As for me and mine - it's time for eyes to close. Let the dreaming begin.

It's time for bed

2007-11-08T20:45:00.000-07:00

This stupid NaBloPoMo...... ugggghhhh! I am so very tired and just want to sleep. I had such a hard time with Ben tonight - I actually called him... evil. How absolutely awful?

He has been so terrible recently... I don't want to show the oh so truly human side by saying this but... I didn't want to pick him up from daycare. That would be one step closer to coming home and battling. However, I have resolved to not give in and prove once and for all that Mom has the final say. This meant pulling him out of the tub when he decided to spit water everywhere. Kicking, hitting, squirming... Ben, not me.

This carried overr on to the bed when I tried to dry him off and put a diaper on. Bekah came in to take over because she though I needed help. I told her she needed to leave the room because this was the end of the road and we're working on obedience this weekend. Lots of tears, screaming, hitting and kicking ensued. Eventually, PJs were wrestled on and then it was time for bed... for both of us.

Oh so very happy & relaxed

2007-11-07T20:31:00.000-07:00

I was stuck in traffic for an hour today. This was the most wonderful time I have had in a long time. No arguing with Ben, no Bekah arguing with Ben, no chores, no TV. Are you catching on? This is not the actual reason I was Oh so very happy. Jerry called and we actually talked uninterrupted for an entire half an hour. We talked about his training, my traffic, his bunk (very small), Ben, Bekah and everything in between. I never thought traffic could be so relaxing.

Jerry should be able to come home for Christmas which makes me very very happy. Christmas time is my favorite time of year. Not the gifts, shopping or rushing people but the reason for the season, giving spirit, happy children and (hopefully) cooler weather. The best part is all the sparkly decorations that make Christmas a very romantic time of year. I can't wait.

My sister (K) is here with popcorn, candy and Ratatouille. This movie is great. very funny, once you can get over the fact of a rat in the kitchen. Ewwww. We're having quite the relaxing evening... a glass of wine would make it a touch better.

I am hoping to have bad traffic on the way home tomorrow too!

Bath Night

2007-11-06T23:50:00.000-07:00

It was a pretty good night. On our way home I called Bekah to find out if she could start dinner so we could possibly go for a walk tonight. Dinner was made a few minutes after we arrived home but it was way to dark to do anything. So... I decided it was time to face the music and get Ben into the bathtub. I readied myself for the ultimate battle and he actually went willingly. I think the promise of bubbles had something to do with the compliant attitude. Hey, if it works... why not?

So here I sit ready for bed, blogging away and just noticing there is a scheduled outage @ 11pm PST. I guess I'll sign off early tonight and get a good night sleep.

Good night!

*No monkeys were harmed in the making of this blog.

Round Two... {ding-ding}

2007-11-05T19:31:00.000-07:00

...And mom comes from the corner wearing purple Eyore PJs while Ben wearing red Spiderman... throws himself into the ring kicking and screaming!

Round Two, Week Two and it seems everything is a battle. I do battle over meals, dental maintenance, nap times, diaper changes (yes, he's only 3), bath time, play time, quiet time, bed time and everything in between. I'm stern and he fights. I'm consistent and he screams. Absolutely everything is a fight. It seems the behavior isn't getting better or any easier. The worst part; when he's angry at me he calls for his Papa.

Bekah put him down for me tonight since I was somewhat losing ground (and my mind). She is very good with him. I could also talk about all of the times she eggs him on and acts like she's 12 years old. Wait. She is only 12 years old. She's just a kid learning to step up to the plate when Mom needs a pinch hitter. She's my baby girl.

My daughter is a lot like me although the lovely olive skin is from her father. She loves to read (almost to a fault), is quite creative, good in school and just a great gal. If I were 12 years old I'm pretty sure we'd be friends. I would definitely be the geeky one though. Although she doesn't realize it she is very self assured. She has morals, standards, and fairly wise in her young age.

She loves to be involved with her family and even spend time with me periodically. When I have out of town trips on her days off she'll tag along for the day. We make a day of it by stopping at the scenic views (there are lots in Arizona), having lunch and sometimes calling it quits early for shopping. Don't worry, I am definitely cherishing these moments because I know at any moment it could all be over.

This evening my young referee called foul and rescued me from even younger child. I so want to stay down for the count, close my eyes and possibly get a little rest. Tonight I just want to curl up in a ball and cry for however long it takes in order to get it out of my system. Is it so bad to give up a round once in a while? I'm not betting on the game so no one can really accuse me of foul play.

My best bet might be to load up on the electrolytes and get back into the ring. It's just too early to give up the crown. Besides Bekah was able to get Ben to sleep so I should probably catch up on some much needed rest because the morning always comes to soon. {ding-ding}

Tagged!

2007-11-04T20:44:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the Tag Mandy Lou - It was a rough day today and I truly did not feel like posting tears and loneliness tonight.

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night? Jen Lancaster (just finished "Bright Lights, Big Ass")
2. What were you doing at 0800? Getting Ben ready for church
3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Put Ben down to Bed (@ 8:00 - I posted this kind of late)
4. What happened to you in 2006? Oh Lord-ie, a year ago? I can barely remember the 30 minutes ago part!
5. What was the last thing you said out loud? Good night sweet pea. Sweet dreams. I'll check on you later.
6. How many beverages did you have today? A Diet Coke, 3 glasses (24 oz ea) ice water
7. What color is your hairbrush? Silver
8. What was the last thing you paid for? HSN Clearance items. Ummmm... scrapbook stuff and Pilates DVD
9. Where were you last night? Sitting in bed, laptop on lap, fast asleep. I woke up at 3am and realized I didn't blog - I was bummed cause it was a good day. That and I signed up for NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month).
10. What color is your front door? From the outside white. From the inside Merlot
11. Where do you keep your change? Fish bowl in kitchen, spaghetti jar on sink, wooden bowl on dresser and basket in laundry room.
12. What’s the weather like today? Warm - way too summery for November.
13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor? Belgian Chocolate Chocolate
14. What excites you? Calls / texts from Jerry, Holidays
15. Do you want to cut your hair? Yes, yes, yes. I just can't figure out when I can go (without Ben)
16. Are you over the age of 25? Thanks for reminding me.. yeah... about 15 years.
17. Do you talk a lot? Always have. I guess I always will.
18. Do you watch the O.C.? Nope.
19. Do you know anyone named Steven? Yes, Jerry's step-dad
20. Do you make up your own words? Quite frequently although it isn't on purpose all the time.
21. Are you a jealous person? No - jealousy is a waste of time and emotion.
22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’: Abigail
23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K': Kathy-rine (scoobers), Kevin
24. Who’s the first person on your received call list? Awesome Jerry (he's listed that way so he's the first on my contact list... Not that he isn't awesome of course =)
25. What does the last text message you received say? Blog This
26. Do you chew on your straw? No
27. Do you have curly hair? Nope - straight and flag
28. Where’s the next place you’re going to? Bed (it is now 12:04 and I promised Bekah I'd be in bed before midnight - oops)
29. Who’s the rudest person in your life? I'll just call the person C (no not my other sister)
30. What was the last thing you ate? Sweet Tarts left over from Halloween
31. Will you get married in the future? Nope - I plan to keep Jerry around for a long, long time.
32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks? I haven't had time but Crash and World Trade Center is sitting on top of the TV
33. Is there anyone you like right now? John Cusack - what a cutie (and fellow Chicagoan)
34. When was the last time you did the dishes? Two days ago although I'll start the dishwasher right before bed.
35. Are you currently depressed? Not depressed - just lonely and missing Jerry
36. Did you cry today? Yes I did - see question 35.
37. Why did you answer and post this? Mandy Lou didn't think she had enough people who read her blog to be tagged. So... I read it and well here it is.
38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey. I'm in Mandy Lou's boat - I don't think 5 people are reading my blog... yet.

White Chevy Tahoes

2007-11-02T22:48:00.000-07:00

I see these trucks everywhere. I understand the Chevy Tahoe is an incredibly popular truck but the white ones are absolutely everywhere I go. It really doesn't matter what year because they are fairly similar. Highly recognizable, very difficult to miss.

Behind my car on the way to work I can see them in my rear view mirror. On the opposite side of the freeway on my way to appointments the Chevy logo gleaming in the Arizona sun. In front of me while driving Ben to daycare. Ben even notices them next to us at stop lights.

"Look Papa's 'fruck' over dare".

Jerry drives a white Chevy Tahoe and I am constantly reminded of his absence each time I see one. Not that I need the reminder but I can only hope he thinks of me as many times each day.

Incoming Message...

2007-11-02T22:43:00.000-07:00

Congratulations!
One week is done!
Miss you.

Text received by Jerry earlier this afternoon. =)

Close...

2007-11-01T23:18:00.000-07:00

In bed by 11:18pm - 18 minutes late. Not bad.

All In All

2007-11-01T22:17:00.000-07:00

My day started when Ben came tip-toeing into the bedroom and peeking over the top of the bed. A smirk was evident on his face, though slightly hidden behind blankets, as if up to something. I asked what he was doing? "Nothin". Smirk still there no eye contact made yet. I patted the bed, asked him to come snuggle and watch Disney (this is our morning ritual). He didn't move but just smirked and said "Me go kitchen". Only a fool would have let him out of the room at that very morning. Ben was positioning for a quick run to the kitchen in order to raid the bag of loot from last night. I was actually able to talk him into snuggling under the warm blankets and watching Disney. Bekah came in a little later to snuggle with us which is where we stayed until Grandma arrived.

Grandma watches Ben once a week. I absolutely love these mornings. Took a long hot shower, put makeup on before leaving and got dressed without interruption all while watching the Today show. Went to work where, after sitting in training for an hour and a half, progress was made, proposals were sent and contacts were made. Hope to continue tomorrow. Maybe dollars can be earned.

Evidently, grandma had a day like those I have been experiencing. I do believe she has realized Ben cannot be left alone for even a few moments time. He is definitely Calvin through and through. He poured glue on the couch, spilled nail polish on his sister's carpet and played with toothpaste in the bathroom sink. Ha-ha! It is not a mama conspiracy... Ben even acts this way with Rama. You know, I frequently wonder what a child is thinking while misbehaving. Is it purposeful? For fun? Are they pretending to be big? Hopefully, he's not mimicking because I don't remember ever inking my entire belly blue. At least not that I can recall...

Anyway, when I arrive home his favorite movie Atlantis is playing, he is shirtless, and coloring with a black sharpie marker on a McDonald's Happy Meal box. Pretty normal except for the Sharpie which was okay because grandma had "him in her sight". Oh well I guess that's what grandma's are for. For fear of the possibility of tantrum and leg grabbing, Rama slipped out to go home while Ben and I reunited.

Went to the kitchen to make dinner - Thank you Rama for cleaning the kitchen. I now have the counter space to actually put real food out. We ate a quick dinner and sat down in front of the screen. Ben loves to watch me edit pictures - we are currently learning how to change eye color. Especially those of himself or my sister's dog Dookie.

Am somewhat lonely tonight but am happy to have the company of my laptop (sad huh?). I am hoping to be in bed by 11:00, watching Leno, updating pictures on Flickr and maybe writing a letter to Jerry. I am learning how to put widgets on the blog so hopefully the link to Flickr will be there by the time you visit.

I didn't get to talk to Jerry today but all in all today was pretty good!

Ben's Quote of the Morning

2007-10-31T08:59:00.000-07:00

"My Bekah (a) freep"

In reference to his sister not allowing him to open his own juice box. Yelling and crying ensued.

One of those days

2007-10-30T19:02:00.000-07:00

I woke up rested and fairly happy this morning. Then I arrived at work ten minutes late. Ever have one of those bosses who tap their wrist to indicate the time? I don't. My boss stands behind me as I'm throwing stuff in my cubicle so I can rush off to a training meeting. I don't see him until I turn around. Frankly it's like having a 2ND mother with the the luggage he was giving. Guilt trip you know, had to pack the bags. I absolutely understand I was late and acknowledged the fact. I just don't think a supervisor should vocalize your shortcomings through the office so everyone within hearing range can participate. Whatever.

All things considered I handled myself well until I sat down in the meeting and had a chance to think about the previous events. My emotions have been neatly tied together, during pre-deployment, in order to keep some sort of emotional restraint in the office and not let my family realize that I am complete emotional basket case. Well the tirade (possibly over spoken) over my tardiness was the pair of scissors that opened my neatly packaged emotions. Picture one of those great big pairs of scissors used for grand openings or ground breaking ceremonies.

First the tears came which irritates me even more so the tears come faster. Then, when I attempt to turn off the waterworks my nose starts running. My nose is like an emergency exit plan for tears when the tear ducts are calmed. What a mess. Just so you know, I cry whether I'm sad, happy, tired or just plain pissed off. I left the room, grabbed a handful of tissues, dabbed at my eyes (nose too) and stood in the back of the room in order to regain my composure.

I don't think my boss should treat me any differently because my home life is a little disrupted and unorganized. But really, in the middle of the office?

At least I had a couple of out of office appointments which kept me away and busy. Hopefully, they'll turn into business.

I know I'm not alone in this situation and I don't want to be a complaint. I am striving to be the quintessential Navy wife - strong, together, and emotionally available. If there is anyone out there going through the military wife, deployment thing. I'd like some proof that this is normal and I'm not losing my mind.

Mission Accomplished

2007-10-29T22:32:00.000-07:00

Last night I think I signed off with something like "a good night sleep is needed" or some crap like that. Wishful thinking. Ben would not sleep until "Mama go bed too". So, like the irresponsible parent I can be, I let him stay with me on the couch until I finished the blog around 11:00pm. He snuggled next to me and feel asleep right away. Good thing... he slept until we had to leave the house this morning. Bad thing... heels in the back @ 2:00am. Not a good night's sleep.

The park was my idea for this evening. The walk was not. I'm quite amazed we actually made it to the park. You see Ben did not want to walk or take the car (at my prodding). He wanted to scooter his way 9 blocks to the park. The sleep deprived loon I am went along for the ride. Figuratively speaking of course, he's only 3. Besides I can't fit one of my feet on his scooter. He stopped to look at a rock. He stopped to walk on a wall - you can guess who carried the scooter. He stopped to play with a palm frawn. He wanted to stop at a house with Halloween decs for an early treat. He wanted to stop to ring a random door bell. He stopped to stomp in a puddle. He stopped for a break. I carried the scooter (again) while he slithered on his tummy down the sidewalk. 40 minutes later we arrived at the park. We had a great time sliding, swinging, climbing and playing in the sand - yes we. It's getting darker and darker (remember I'm a working mom and this is an after work venture) by the minute. The nagging fear in the back of my mind was the "walk" home. Man, I wish I brought the car or even a wagon.

The inevitable occurred just like it inevitably does. Ben got hungry. Ben didn't want to walk home. Ben didn't want to scooter home. Ben wanted to be carried. Okay, I'm supermom (tee-hee) so up he goes on my shoulders. I now have a 35lb 3 year old on my shoulders, a scooter in my left hand, big bottle of ice water in my right and camera bag around my neck. What a sight. This situation lasted about 1 1/4 blocks. Ben scootered or ran the rest of the way home.

By the way, I have some great pictures of our journey but I can't find the camera cable so I guess the pics will have to wait. I regress.

We arrived home. Ben had dinner. Ben had a bath. We read. We rocked. We said "Thank You"s and prayed. Ben slept in his own bed under a Lightning McQueen blanket I bought earlier today as a bribe.

I am sleepy too but much more happy and content tonight.

Day 2 (of 365)

2007-10-28T21:25:00.000-07:00

My husband Jerry has been deployed. He left on Friday morning in order to report by Saturday. Although there have been prior close calls Jerry was always called back. This is a first for us. I am trying to keep my mind focused by looking at the situation only one day at a time. Good idea - in theory anyway. It is only Day 2 - Two little days out of an entire year. I am already so very tired and I'm pretty sure our son Ben can feel my stress.

Ben is 3. He is the most wonderful being on this earth but he's still three. Ever read the comic "Calvin and Hobbes"? Well it's my favorite and if I ever had a son I wanted him to be just like Calvin. Energetic, creative, imaginative, stuffed tiger on his heels... Be careful what you wish for. Now don't get me wrong he is truly the most brilliant, fun loving 3 year old ever. The energy and empathy are the characteristics I am finding difficulty with right now. He runs constantly at 150%, questions everything, engages everyone, and can feel the emotion in a room within moments. Especially right now since emotions aren't easy to contain.

It's only Day 2 and I pray God will give me the grace and strength to lead this family through the next week much less an entire year. Day 2!!! Exhaustion is forefront. My head hurts from lack of sleep and the constants in life running through my brain; lists of chores, paperwork, bills, work (by the way I work full-time as a security consultant), never ending laundry piles. Most of all I want to spend much needed energetic time with Ben. Could it truly be that simple. I guess the other stuff (aside from work) can wait.

Back to Ben. I know he feels the stress and heart-ache. He takes my face in his hands and looks directly in my eyes. I try to hide the tears when they fall and he's back again, my face in his hands but this time he's wiping the tears away. What a sweetie - would Calvin do that? Again, he's only three so he doesn't realize what is going on - he says his Papa is at work. =) That's good. Papa is at work. I hope someday he will realize the magnitude of his father's duty to his country. I think a good night's sleep might do us both some good.

I miss his Papa too. I love him dearly and miss his face, his smile and gentle touch.

I think sleep tonight might just be the thing. Goodnight.

Hola!

2007-10-27T23:34:00.000-07:00

First off, I'd like to say hello to all and apologize to anyone who has found my blog after searching for the actor Joaquin Phoenix. Obviously, this is not his web site so I guess you have a choice... should you stay or should you go now?

If you haven't guessed yet, I live in the Phoenix area. Otherwise known as the Valley of the Sun pretty much centrally located in the great State of Arizona. While I'm on the subject of Phoenix I have to say GO WILDCATS! Although I didn't attend school at the University of Arizona I grew up in Tucson (another city in Arizona) and am a fan of everything Wildcat. Just so you know and I'm quite happy to say (and note), not all Phoenicians worship the Solar Prince of Darkness of Arizona State.

I have had several attempts with journals, diaries, lists and letters but to no avail. I just can't longhand as quickly as I can type. Hopefully two things will be accomplished with my blogspot 1) my writing skills will improve with use and 2) you'll return to keep up on the latest in the life of Just Laura. It's not exciting but definitely an outlet.

Don't lurk for too long - make a comment, keep me engaged, help with ideas. See you soon!