Spring Has Arrived

Now that I have absolutely jinxed the entire spring process for the Sonoran Desert...

It is spring here in the SW Desert known as Sonora. My job frequently takes me to different places throughout the state and I love this area. Yes, the summer is hot, sweltering hot but as they say it is a dry heat and as long as you drink lots of water survival is easy. Anyhow, my travels are very routine and frankly the sometimes 3 hour one way drives can get monotonous to say the least. I have taken to looking at the map and trying to differ my routes to various state highways and other roads.

Earlier this week, I took my camera with me and was able to snap a couple pictures of spring taking over the hills. Poppies cover numerous hillsides and bright purple, yellow and red flowers color the local roadways. I am always impressed by the palette of vibrant colors available for my senses to experience here in the desert. Aside from the recent cool weather (mid 80s), spring is the best time to experience the Sonoran Desert.

As I travel throughout the state, I will bring my camera and hopefully introduce my readers to the wonders of my home. Soon, our state tree, the Palo Verde (spanish for green stick) will start to bloom and I'll do my best to show them in their glory.

Opinions, Thoughts, Reviews wanted.

Last week I blogged about losing the ball. You know.. the one I'm usually on but has recently bounced away? I received several comments about Palm Pilots seeming to help the loss of a mind.

I would truly appreciate your reviews of the type you currently use, used to use or even dream of using. I love Outlook and use it often at work so I am definitely in need of a much more portable version. Sounds like a great Christmas suggestion to me!

Where did the ball go?

I'm looking for advice so feel free to comment up a storm. Tell me to get a life, get my *ss in gear, whatever - I just cannot seem to get my head in the game. People tell me I have a lot on my mind (really?), not to worry, it's just natural all things considered. Come on! I'm a professional and when I don't pull my weight (which is a lot) I'm not happy with myself. (blah)

I've been working @ my company for 12 years now. I've held a variety of positions from secretary to management. I am currently in sales with a quota over my head. Now, typical of most sales jobs, there is a lot of middle mgmt over me that likes to put their finger in the mix to stir things up. Specifically things that deter me from the primary goal - making money. Sales.

We have mandatory training (on-line & classroom) , customer calls, customer visits, report after report and like all other jobs the stuff someone else is supposed to handle but doesn't so you have to do it yourself so it gets done properly. Well I play the game. I use the tools given to me, turn in my reports (when I remember and I'll get to that later), make the calls, visit the clients, etc. When in a normal work day am I supposed to sell something? That aside the main problem is as follows.

The main problem (in my opinion) is my brain. I miss appointments that are clearly written on my calendar, forget to answer voice mail, not followed up on the "sure thing" sale which by the way I end up losing. I've even forgotten to hit the button on my emailed proposal and once again end up blowing off my client. WHISKEY-FOXTROT-TANGO! (military for WTF)

Yes, I have been distracted. Hmmmmm.... who wouldn't be with their husband somewhere else for a long period of time. Like I said, I'm doing the footwork, logging the calls and miles on my car but I just cannot get my mind back into the game. I have always been one of the most conscientious (spelling?) worker bee out there and by the way I don't cheat or steal to get my customers.

My sales suck big time right now and I feel like the biggest loser and failure because I can't even focus on the job. I haven't given 100% in a long time... 75% is hard enough. God, I hate that.

How do I get my head back in the game? How do I remember all of the things to do during a day? (obviously writing it down doesn't work) Any ideas out there? Things that have worked for you? Not worked? Uggghhhhh!

This situation has me absolutely flustered. I have always been on the go and on the ball. The ball rolled away somewhere and I kind of need to find it!

All In All

My day started when Ben came tip-toeing into the bedroom and peeking over the top of the bed. A smirk was evident on his face, though slightly hidden behind blankets, as if up to something. I asked what he was doing? "Nothin". Smirk still there no eye contact made yet. I patted the bed, asked him to come snuggle and watch Disney (this is our morning ritual). He didn't move but just smirked and said "Me go kitchen". Only a fool would have let him out of the room at that very morning. Ben was positioning for a quick run to the kitchen in order to raid the bag of loot from last night. I was actually able to talk him into snuggling under the warm blankets and watching Disney. Bekah came in a little later to snuggle with us which is where we stayed until Grandma arrived.

Grandma watches Ben once a week. I absolutely love these mornings. Took a long hot shower, put makeup on before leaving and got dressed without interruption all while watching the Today show. Went to work where, after sitting in training for an hour and a half, progress was made, proposals were sent and contacts were made. Hope to continue tomorrow. Maybe dollars can be earned.

Evidently, grandma had a day like those I have been experiencing. I do believe she has realized Ben cannot be left alone for even a few moments time. He is definitely Calvin through and through. He poured glue on the couch, spilled nail polish on his sister's carpet and played with toothpaste in the bathroom sink. Ha-ha! It is not a mama conspiracy... Ben even acts this way with Rama. You know, I frequently wonder what a child is thinking while misbehaving. Is it purposeful? For fun? Are they pretending to be big? Hopefully, he's not mimicking because I don't remember ever inking my entire belly blue. At least not that I can recall...

Anyway, when I arrive home his favorite movie Atlantis is playing, he is shirtless, and coloring with a black sharpie marker on a McDonald's Happy Meal box. Pretty normal except for the Sharpie which was okay because grandma had "him in her sight". Oh well I guess that's what grandma's are for. For fear of the possibility of tantrum and leg grabbing, Rama slipped out to go home while Ben and I reunited.

Went to the kitchen to make dinner - Thank you Rama for cleaning the kitchen. I now have the counter space to actually put real food out. We ate a quick dinner and sat down in front of the screen. Ben loves to watch me edit pictures - we are currently learning how to change eye color. Especially those of himself or my sister's dog Dookie.

Am somewhat lonely tonight but am happy to have the company of my laptop (sad huh?). I am hoping to be in bed by 11:00, watching Leno, updating pictures on Flickr and maybe writing a letter to Jerry. I am learning how to put widgets on the blog so hopefully the link to Flickr will be there by the time you visit.

I didn't get to talk to Jerry today but all in all today was pretty good!

One of those days

I woke up rested and fairly happy this morning. Then I arrived at work ten minutes late. Ever have one of those bosses who tap their wrist to indicate the time? I don't. My boss stands behind me as I'm throwing stuff in my cubicle so I can rush off to a training meeting. I don't see him until I turn around. Frankly it's like having a 2ND mother with the the luggage he was giving. Guilt trip you know, had to pack the bags. I absolutely understand I was late and acknowledged the fact. I just don't think a supervisor should vocalize your shortcomings through the office so everyone within hearing range can participate. Whatever.

All things considered I handled myself well until I sat down in the meeting and had a chance to think about the previous events. My emotions have been neatly tied together, during pre-deployment, in order to keep some sort of emotional restraint in the office and not let my family realize that I am complete emotional basket case. Well the tirade (possibly over spoken) over my tardiness was the pair of scissors that opened my neatly packaged emotions. Picture one of those great big pairs of scissors used for grand openings or ground breaking ceremonies.

First the tears came which irritates me even more so the tears come faster. Then, when I attempt to turn off the waterworks my nose starts running. My nose is like an emergency exit plan for tears when the tear ducts are calmed. What a mess. Just so you know, I cry whether I'm sad, happy, tired or just plain pissed off. I left the room, grabbed a handful of tissues, dabbed at my eyes (nose too) and stood in the back of the room in order to regain my composure.

I don't think my boss should treat me any differently because my home life is a little disrupted and unorganized. But really, in the middle of the office?

At least I had a couple of out of office appointments which kept me away and busy. Hopefully, they'll turn into business.

I know I'm not alone in this situation and I don't want to be a complaint. I am striving to be the quintessential Navy wife - strong, together, and emotionally available. If there is anyone out there going through the military wife, deployment thing. I'd like some proof that this is normal and I'm not losing my mind.

L