Rambling (rollin', rollin', rollin', ...)

I MUST blog.  I crave blogging.  I miss blogging.  Why you might ask?  Therapy.  Blogging is my therapy.  Blogging gets the stuff out of my head and on a blank page.  I cannot write in a diary.  Not literally but I just do not have the discipline to sit down every night and write out what I believe to be my "oh, so insightful thoughts". I have 13 separate journals, diaries, notebooks or whatever you want to call them, all over the house, with only 2-5 pages of writing in each.    So now on with the therapeutic rambling.

What is today?  I'm pretty sure today is Thursday but I cannot be 100% because it feels like a Monday or maybe Tuesday.  Wednesday?  The days have been running together for the past two weeks.  Way too busy at work.  Way too busy at home.  Between kids at school, reading as homework everynight, parent/teacher conferences and a Kindergarten "research" paper - Good Grief!  No wonder the people of our wonderful country are so stressed out.

Do you remember that old commercial for Calgon?  I think it was a water softener or bubble bath, anyway something to that extent.  I wish, hope and pray for Calgon to take me away every single day.  Now don't get me wrong, life is great.  Actually quite wonderful in fact but everything is running together.  Maybe that's a hint for exercise, you know, running.  Nah!

Kids are good, hubby is good, I'm good except my body seems to be rebelling.  Too much stress I think.  Refresh my memory, how did I handle this same amount of activity 10 years ago?  Psoriasis has been my major issue as of late.  Started in July - dermatologist finally confirmed my original suspicion this week.  Hmmmm?  Maybe I should "practice" medicine.  Back to my skin...they say psoriasis is brought on by stress. Hmm?  Anyhow, new diagnosis, new medicine so now my skin seems to be finally getting better with the prescribed medicinal ointment.  Yay! No more lizard skin!

Also abdominal issues.  Pain in lower right abdomen.  Nope, not appendix.  The "practicing" doctors have taken all of the tests, taken much of my blood, poked, prodded (ouch!) and looked inside via MRI and sonogram.  This situation cannot be seen like the skin probs but good grief there are times when the knife like pain is worse than contractions.

I have a new hobby in Facebooking.  Reconnected with so many friends from High School and elementary school.  It truly is amazing how you lose contact with your "best" friends of the time.  Will be heading to hometown this weekend for a HS Reunion Happy Hour.  Can't believe its been 25 years!

Have a new boss.  He's absolutely great because he is housed out of Vegas.  We communicate via email mostly and he's kind of wordy like I am.  This boss seems to be able to keep me engaged at work, without hanging over my shoulder (figuritively), and is motivational through his encouragement.

Let's see, what else has changed?  Still have Bear (dog) and Sassy Cat.  Hubby bought Ben a 35 gallon fish tank so new fish are always showing up to replace those that have moved on to that great reef in the sky.  Normally known as a toilet.  Also rescued a cat when I decided to visit the animals behind the glass wall.  Animal lovers beware!  This is a bad idea.  You will fall in love with the biggest cat that puts his arms around you, like a hug, and purrs like a Mac truck.  Frankly, this was the best decision I have made in a long time - because he's mine and I love him dearly.  He snores when he sleeps too.

I feel better.  Thank you for reading and listening.  I am off to bed for what I hope to be a restful night.  Sleep well and sweet dreams fellow dot comrads.

The Heat Is On...

98 degrees today. Triple digits are not far behind.

The worst part of the past couple weeks - allergies. I have not suffered from allergies this severe since 4th or 5th grade when we first moved to Arizona. My mom reminded me I used to be her little helper in the garden - just like Ben - until we moved. From that point on I was the inside helper.

I remember going to the nurse because I had something in my eye. At first glance the nurse thought I had pink-eye since my eyes were so red. No such luck. Allergies.

Ben wanted to play outside last week so I grabbed a book and figured he could run like a wild child while I sat peacefully with my literature. My nose (& eyes) started running but I stuck it out thinking this was the worst. An itchy face is fairly normal with my allergies - mind you I'm sitting on the patio, not rolling in the grass. A new symptom has reared it's ugly head on my face - a red rash & hives on my eye lids. Yippee!

I pray for the heat only because allergies lessen when things stop growing. And things stop growing in the dry Arizona heat of summer. Woo-hoo! ???

Welcome to the Neighborhood

With the onset of spring comes life. We have a family of baby birds living in our saguaro cactus. The saguaro has boasted several large living areas with scenic views ever since we moved into the neighborhood. I have always seen local avians coming and going but no moving vans ever showed up. This evening as I was passing by, I could hear the small cry of hungry babies.

I believe we have a woodpecker family currently housed within the skeleton of the saguaro but I'm not sure. Parents seem to be gone in the early AM as I leave for work and home serving dinner before I am.

I will try to catch up our new neighbors sometime during the week and catch a snap shot or two for posting.

Updates

Let's see, it's been quite the busy week. This post is more of an effort of memorization so I can remember what I need to put in my letter to Jerry. So much stuff is buzzing through my head, I always forget something. This is my list.

I actually finished our taxes on the 14th, which is fairly odd for me since I usually finish the first week in February. Procrastination is a way of life for me right now. It seems every issue that rears its ugly head is more important than the last and thus pushes everything else backwards. At the last minute, taxes became the MOST important issue - DONE! Check.

We (although not together) celebrated our fourth anniversary on Wednesday. I bought a bottle of wine I did not drink and a movie I didn't watch to celebrate the evening. Let's see, Ben was not very hungry and wanted cereal so we partook of raisin bran and soy milk, bathed Ben and fell asleep around 9:30pm. Isn't romance wonderful? (hee-hee)

Started a yoga class on Tuesday. Ninety minutes of yoga in a 103 degree room with 40% humidity. Aside from the obvious, sweat, the heart was a pumpin for pretty much the entire class. Who knew Yoga could be a cardio work out. Now you have to realize, I live in a very hot area and frequently work in the yard, walk and play with kids in this kind of heat. But wow, when you attempt to control your breathing (all nasal) as well as contorting your body into different poses - whew! I love it! Skin felt great, body feels alive, brain is more alert! Lots of water and electrolytes is a must. Anyway, the second class on Thursday was much better since I knew what to expect and frankly it didn't feel quite as hot either. I think I have finally found a workout routine I actually like. Will keep you updated.

Fixed a leaky sink (replaced fixture) in the kitchen last week but one small connection on the reverse osmosis was a problem, so I've been emptying a bowl of water every day. I forgot Thursday night and didn't realize until 2am last night (Friday). The particle board underneath was somewhat wet so Ben and I went to the hardware store to purchase a new replacement piece of plywood. After pulling up the old wood, I found the original cabinet bottom had rotted through and we have a mold issue. This is definitely something thats been around for a while - not just my little leak problem. Yick! Mold creeps me out. Anyway, Ben and I went back to the hardware store so I could get bleach, gloves and an air mask so I could get to cleaning. Decided to procrastinate again and spent some quality time with Ben, bathed him and read some books before putting him down @ 9:30ish. I'll work on the mold issue tomorrow when Bekah comes home.

Thought the washing maching issue was solved a couple weeks ago but guess what? - it has taken a crap on me again. Time to replace. More $$$$$ =(

Backyard is taking shape - weeds are disappearing a little bit each week. Storage has been utilized so clutter is also vanishing. The gazebo awning does need to be replaced since the sun did quite a number on it. Didn't even last a year! Moe (tortoise) has been out & about and still comes when called for dinner. Kind of scared me one evening when I was weeding by myself and felt a slight nudge on my leg (sitting on ground). I thought I was alone - Moe had come back out of his home to visit. Who knew reptiles had personality?

Truck did not pass emissions - need to make appointment for service. Recheck emissions, register.

Trees are growing wonderfully in the backyard (grapefruit, mandarin orange & jacarunda). These are the ones planted the same day Jerry went over seas. Ben wants to plant some more "stuff" but obviously other issues are pending. Maybe next weekend. Ben is a gardener. He loves to dig holes, water plants and even help weed. I love it - he's getting so very tall and looks like Jerry more and more each day!

Bekah is becoming closer & closer to teen-hood every day. She's one month away from the big thirteen! Moody, snotty, attitudinal. Also, much more helpful, aware, self-confident. I completely forgot (selective memory) teenage years can be such a contradiction. She can be so very sweet and loving one moment and snotty and disrespectful the next. I miss her so much when she's at her Dad's house, snot & all. She'll be back tomorrow and the house will feel better.

I'm sure there's more but this is a good start. Hopefully, I can keep up with the blog (once the mold is gone) a little more regularly.

I am still here...

I've got a question for the Navy wives out there... or even the wives whose husbands are away for long periods of time.

I have come to the conclusion (just this weekend) I do not like to be home. Home is not complete without Jerry here. I am just not completely happy in this house I call home. I do not feel whole.

Is this normal?

I left for my parents house Friday evening within an hour of getting home. Packed up myself, Ben and Bear, loaded up the truck and took a drive. My parents didn't even know we were coming until I called from the road. Once there we had a great time. Ben was wonderful and we were able to spend much needed quality time together. Quality time is so much easier when all of your projects and to-do lists are 100 miles away! =)

Anyway, when Sunday evening arrived I did not want to come home. We actually woke up this morning at 5:30am and drove home this morning, unloaded the truck and ran off to work. Again, not spending too much time inside the house.

Am I losing my mind? Should I talk to someone about this?

Spring Has Arrived

Now that I have absolutely jinxed the entire spring process for the Sonoran Desert...

It is spring here in the SW Desert known as Sonora. My job frequently takes me to different places throughout the state and I love this area. Yes, the summer is hot, sweltering hot but as they say it is a dry heat and as long as you drink lots of water survival is easy. Anyhow, my travels are very routine and frankly the sometimes 3 hour one way drives can get monotonous to say the least. I have taken to looking at the map and trying to differ my routes to various state highways and other roads.

Earlier this week, I took my camera with me and was able to snap a couple pictures of spring taking over the hills. Poppies cover numerous hillsides and bright purple, yellow and red flowers color the local roadways. I am always impressed by the palette of vibrant colors available for my senses to experience here in the desert. Aside from the recent cool weather (mid 80s), spring is the best time to experience the Sonoran Desert.

As I travel throughout the state, I will bring my camera and hopefully introduce my readers to the wonders of my home. Soon, our state tree, the Palo Verde (spanish for green stick) will start to bloom and I'll do my best to show them in their glory.

Just a couple of things....

1. Thank you for the replies to the previous post regarding monster 3 year old issues. I do appreciate the help and will try both milk substitute (already started) and mommy time outs.
2. What is "Meme"? I see it everywhere and don't quite understand.
3. Will update blog starting tonight - just got back from CA, hubby "ships out" Saturday. =(

5 Things...

I am going to consider myself "tagged" by one of .dot comrades. I went to her site earlier to check in and found 5 Things about her - she had been tagged by a friend. So here I sit tagged and contemplating my five things. By the way, if you're reading this, you must realize you've been tagged as well.

1 - I suffer (or I'd prefer to say "deal with") social anxiety. I believe I have a pretty good personality which most people see once I've been around for a while. Its that initial meeting, the from the hip type of encounters that render me almost helpless. Oddly enough, I'm a sales person and work on the anxiety every day. There are some days I sit in my car for a few minutes in order to "talk myself into" (practicing) the impending meeting.

2- I think I'm afraid of success. This is a fairly recent discovery about myself so I think I'll talk more about it later. Stay tuned for blog - film at 11!

3 - I play the viola. One of the reasons I picked the scroll work for my id. My happiest memories from school are when I was playing. I haven't played in years but will be picking up shortly. I'm waiting for the holiday season to pan out and then start practicing again. This is one of those doomed success stories that I'll blog about later. I am determined to dust it off, tune it and pour out my passion on the strings.

4 - I sleep with a Teddy Bear. Yep I really do. I received this bear as a Christmas present from a boyfriend years ago (20 or so) and he (Bear) goes with me everywhere. Business trips, vacations, car rides and even camping. Some people sleep with body pillows, I sleep with a bear.

5 - I miss my cat tremendously. No his name was not tremendously it was Emerson. ha-ha (sorry) He was my first adult pet (I was the adult not him). He always knew when I had "one of those days", would come to me when I'd cry and loved me unconditionally. He was 17 years old when I had to help him from this world. I was there with him and wouldn't have had it any other way. The doctor let me sit with him for as long as I needed so I was able to say good bye, love him with pets and cry in his fur one last time.

Sorry for the rather melancholy blog. I've noticed my thoughts flow much easier with the sad stuff - WTF? Happy stuff does happen here in this Sonoran home and I will write on those occasions in the future.

so... Tagged! You're It!

Distracted but Time To Write Again

I have to announce I was truly blessed and thankful last Thursday. One week ago Ben and I traveled down to Tucson to spend Thanksgiving with my family. Scoobers was to come down either late Wed or early on Thurs - anyway, my mom and I stayed up working on crosswords and just... stuff. I was exhausted after going to bed at 3:00am the night before (the night I baked pies). Anyway, as I was just starting off to bed my dog, Bear, was acting odd - someone was at the front door. Jerry was waiting as I opened the door, thinking it was my sister. Yes, I cried, we hugged. It was quite the moment.

Typical government entity, the decision went back & forth and finally they were told Thanksgiving was in their future. From what I understand he had worked with both my sister and my mom in order to pull off the surprise. Yes, they knew. Which explains why my mom was trying to keep me awake and also why both of my parents worked so hard to make the guest room absolutely perfect. My honey was home for two days!

He is back in training and currently involved with field training. I won't hear from him until the 10th. But yippee yahoo! He'll be home for 10 days at Christmas!!! I'm on vacation those days too - hmmmmm... go figure.

I am attempting to get my Christmas shopping done online at night after Ben goes down for bed (which has been late every night). Remember when Jerry left the first time? Yep - same situation only much more obedient. I will keep all in touch as I can - I truly love this time of year and will post pics as well!

Fruits of My Labor

The house smells absolutely yummy. I think it's the nutmeg that makes pumpkin pie smell so very heavenly. I started baking around 9:40pm. Yes, I know it's late but Ben would not fall asleep and I didn't want to distract him from sleepy time thoughts. So anyway, here it is around midnight and I have four pies baked for Thanksgiving. Two will be coming home with me to my parent's house in Tucson and the rest are for well deserving friends.

It's late but I am so very relaxed and content because I was able to do the one thing I so enjoy this time of year. Baking for others. Sure I like to nibble and to sample the wares but I love to package up cookies and send pies home with friends.

I bake my pumpkin pies from scratch. Yup from the actual squash. Typically, I will use the meat from the Halloween Jack O'Lantern (I freeze it). This year we didn't have time to carve a pumpkin much less even pick one up. I've noticed a lot of stores don't carry pumpkins once Halloween is over. I'm not sure where all of those left over pumpkins are taken. I'd like to say they are taken back to the farm where they can once again be free but I'm more inclined towards the cannery option.

I like the process of baking as well as the end result. Taking raw ingredients, cooking them up, mixing all of those delectable spices together with the pumpkin and finally pouring the mixture into a well made pie shell. A grandmotherly type by the name of Marie Callendar makes the shells as I have not yet perfected the art of the shell. Easier too. Anyway, the house smells delicious, I have pies to spare and I feel good.

In about 30 minutes I will have six full size pies and four smaller individual pies. Best of all I was able to throw the seeds in the oven as well so I'm pretty well stocked on both regular seeds and garlic flavor.

Quitting NaBloPoMo

Well... I took some time this weekend for me... in a manner of speaking. I watched movies with Bekah and Ben, cleaned my kitchen (although you couldn't tell now), took naps, caught up on HGtv, cleaned my bedroom, watched an entire movie start to finish in one sitting, finished another book and finished laundry (again). Look at the dresser - there is actually wood on there!

I did not blog all weekend and actually didn't even turn my computer on. No surfing, didn't check email and didn't blog. So... in order to keep from losing my mind I quit NaBloPoMo.

Ben has been so much better since I've been watching his sugar intake. I have Kris (daycare provider) watching the sugar as well. By the way, did you know grapes have sugar in them? Natural yes but still sugar. I think the deletion of a usually ever present parent is the biggest impact but I think he's adjusting well. I know he's sleeping longer and better.

We lay down on the big king size bed every night to read a pile of books. His current favorite is "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" by Eric Carle. Ben loves the cute story and laughs in all of the right places. His personal reading time of 10 minutes or so is usually spent looking through a "word" book. It's a picture book with all sorts of scenes in which the things / people are labeled so kids can learn the names of common household items. There is a grumpy cat in every picture he loves to look for.

I am still sick but on medication which of course makes me drowsy. It also makes me cough which wakes me up throughout the night but as long as I get better so be it. So I better get to it if I want to be any sort of useful tomorrow.

Home-made pumpkin pies, from scratch, were the efforts of tonight - pictures & instructions to follow. =)

Thank you JJ for commenting on the last blog post. It's nice to know family in other parts of the country is keeping updated. I've never been the greatest correspondent so hopefully this will suffice.

Cries from the room down the hall...

...As I sit here, attempting to relax and suffer quietly with my sinus issues, I hear cries from the room down the hall. The room in question would by our bedroom and the cries are coming from Ben (who would have guessed). He is playing XBox with Bekah and yes, I've heard her "cries" of frustration as well. She is helping out today in a big way since my head like a balloon full of lead snot (sorry). My eyes are like little slits due to the light sensitivity and the computer screen isn't cooperating either. But I missed blogging yesterday so I'm feeling slightly guilty about the whole NaBloPoMo thing. Oh well....

Anyhow, Bekah had a friend over last night and they were up until 2am or maybe 2:30am. I'm not exactly sure because I was up to get some Tylenol for the headache I thought was due to lack of sleep. It's actually been a very good day for the family - went to church (10 minutes late) this morning, stopped at the grocery store to stock up on good wholesome veggies & fruit and then home for nap time. Once again I got to sleep longer than Ben because Bekah kept him occupied until I struggled out of bed.

Yesterday was a great day as well - my punkymood indicated I was content. Did laundry, washed dishes, picked up around the house (although you'd never be able to tell today) and mowed the lawn (with the neighbor's mower - different story, different day).

Oh yeah! Bekah got her hair cut and so did Ben! Bekah's hair is an above the shoulders bob with side bangs and Ben proudly shows off his new "Papa Hair". I'm not a huge fan of the military buzz cut on kids since it makes them look so much older but he is the man of the house now. He still looks cute and he rubs his hand on the top of his head when he says "Me have Papa hair". Jerry would be proud.

Bekah just came in to inform me Ben doesn't know how to drive very well on XBox. No kidding - he is only 3 after all! I can't drive very well on video games - I'm more of the Splinter Cell kind of gal. Bekah would like some real competition so I told her if we could get Ben into bed at a decent hour I'd come in to play. Hoping the ibuprofen starts to work by then.

I am signing off for the night in order to spend some time with kids in the room down the hall. By the way, the sounds I hear now are carefree and jubilant. I hear the laughter of children.

P.S. Mandy Lou - I have to admit this to you. I really, really want to whine about feeling crappy and sick. Ugh!