My husband Jerry has been deployed. He left on Friday morning in order to report by Saturday. Although there have been prior close calls Jerry was always called back. This is a first for us. I am trying to keep my mind focused by looking at the situation only one day at a time. Good idea - in theory anyway. It is only Day 2 - Two little days out of an entire year. I am already so very tired and I'm pretty sure our son Ben can feel my stress.
Ben is 3. He is the most wonderful being on this earth but he's still three. Ever read the comic "Calvin and Hobbes"? Well it's my favorite and if I ever had a son I wanted him to be just like Calvin. Energetic, creative, imaginative, stuffed tiger on his heels... Be careful what you wish for. Now don't get me wrong he is truly the most brilliant, fun loving 3 year old ever. The energy and empathy are the characteristics I am finding difficulty with right now. He runs constantly at 150%, questions everything, engages everyone, and can feel the emotion in a room within moments. Especially right now since emotions aren't easy to contain.
It's only Day 2 and I pray God will give me the grace and strength to lead this family through the next week much less an entire year. Day 2!!! Exhaustion is forefront. My head hurts from lack of sleep and the constants in life running through my brain; lists of chores, paperwork, bills, work (by the way I work full-time as a security consultant), never ending laundry piles. Most of all I want to spend much needed energetic time with Ben. Could it truly be that simple. I guess the other stuff (aside from work) can wait.
Back to Ben. I know he feels the stress and heart-ache. He takes my face in his hands and looks directly in my eyes. I try to hide the tears when they fall and he's back again, my face in his hands but this time he's wiping the tears away. What a sweetie - would Calvin do that? Again, he's only three so he doesn't realize what is going on - he says his Papa is at work. =) That's good. Papa is at work. I hope someday he will realize the magnitude of his father's duty to his country. I think a good night's sleep might do us both some good.
I miss his Papa too. I love him dearly and miss his face, his smile and gentle touch.
I think sleep tonight might just be the thing. Goodnight.
2 comments:
I am so glad that you are here and using blogger as a journal and way to keep Jerry up to date.
You will have the strength and much support until he returns : )
I hope you got the rest you needed.
Love you.
Ka-Kahn
So is Jerry away for 365 days for sure, or are you just counting on a year? That would be so hard with 2 kids at home, I can't imagine. But I think a blog is a great way to keep track of what's going on at home while he's away, and hopefully he will be able to get online once in a while and read your blog to get a little taste of home.
Best of luck to you while your husbands away! Looking forward to seeing pictures and hearing stories about your kids, I'm expecting my first in a few weeks.
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