Catching Up

Tis the season to be busy... and moody. I have been attempting to clean my house so I can move furniture to make room for a Christmas tree. Why does everything hinge on a clean house?

Anyway, during the past couple of weeks since Thanksgiving I have been keeping up on the daily blogs I visit. However, I believe it is fairly evident by the lack of blogging on my part... the blog is suffering. I plan to remedy this situation although I'm not sure how.

I wanted to introduce my little family. The picture is of my children and me (bad picture). Anyway, Ben is obviously the youngest and very much like Calvin of the beloved comic strip Calvin and Hobbes. He was actually almost named Calvin. He is quite bright and makes attempts at being sly. Scary thought - he gets better at stealth as each day passes.

Rebekah is my first... and tallest. She wears the same size shoe I do! I feel bad for her because once her foot grows a tad more all of the very cute shoes in her collection will find their way to my closet. Oh come on, I have to put a positive spin on it. Anyway, Bekah is the greatest help right now intervening with Ben.

After a request from my sister to post child are, I will soon begin a new blog page with both Ben's and Bekah's art. Will post a grand opening date once I have a little more time to get organized. I am hoping to start at New Years.

5 Things...

I am going to consider myself "tagged" by one of .dot comrades. I went to her site earlier to check in and found 5 Things about her - she had been tagged by a friend. So here I sit tagged and contemplating my five things. By the way, if you're reading this, you must realize you've been tagged as well.

1 - I suffer (or I'd prefer to say "deal with") social anxiety. I believe I have a pretty good personality which most people see once I've been around for a while. Its that initial meeting, the from the hip type of encounters that render me almost helpless. Oddly enough, I'm a sales person and work on the anxiety every day. There are some days I sit in my car for a few minutes in order to "talk myself into" (practicing) the impending meeting.

2- I think I'm afraid of success. This is a fairly recent discovery about myself so I think I'll talk more about it later. Stay tuned for blog - film at 11!

3 - I play the viola. One of the reasons I picked the scroll work for my id. My happiest memories from school are when I was playing. I haven't played in years but will be picking up shortly. I'm waiting for the holiday season to pan out and then start practicing again. This is one of those doomed success stories that I'll blog about later. I am determined to dust it off, tune it and pour out my passion on the strings.

4 - I sleep with a Teddy Bear. Yep I really do. I received this bear as a Christmas present from a boyfriend years ago (20 or so) and he (Bear) goes with me everywhere. Business trips, vacations, car rides and even camping. Some people sleep with body pillows, I sleep with a bear.

5 - I miss my cat tremendously. No his name was not tremendously it was Emerson. ha-ha (sorry) He was my first adult pet (I was the adult not him). He always knew when I had "one of those days", would come to me when I'd cry and loved me unconditionally. He was 17 years old when I had to help him from this world. I was there with him and wouldn't have had it any other way. The doctor let me sit with him for as long as I needed so I was able to say good bye, love him with pets and cry in his fur one last time.

Sorry for the rather melancholy blog. I've noticed my thoughts flow much easier with the sad stuff - WTF? Happy stuff does happen here in this Sonoran home and I will write on those occasions in the future.

so... Tagged! You're It!

Over the River and Through The Woods...

Almost eerily quiet. A weird kind of quiet - there is definitely something, or someone, missing from this picture. Ben!

Grandma took Ben last night - he wanted to visit the farm at Ramah's house. So we packed him up and sent him packing. Bekah, C and I went Christmas shopping for a few hours, had dinner at 9:30pm and then returned home packages in trunk. No PJs, teeth brushing, books, rocking or prayers. Although peaceful, sad as well. =(

He was over at the farm all day today and evidently didn't want to come home. Grandma asked if he wanted to "go home with Mom or stay another day". Since there are no small children underfoot the choice he made is obvious. He'll be home tomorrow morning before work. I miss his presence (even as loud as it can be sometimes).

I'm going to bed early and as most of you who visit know, 11pm is early for me. Good night!

Crafty Kid

I knew Ben was a smart kid (and yes I'm biased) but this afternoon was the best story I had heard in a while.

BACKGROUND: Ben's grandmother (Ramah) watches him once a week. As the typical grandparent she pretty much gives in to Ben's every whim. He used to get a piece of gum whenever she came over until he started putting it anywhere he pleased. Now, she hides her purse each time she's here.

Wrench and stool in hand, Ben passes right by grandma as she is walking from the living room. At this point she decides it's time to follow the child. He walks into the office, puts the stool on the floor next to the table and climbs up. Using the wrench he snags the purse, carefully hidden behind some painting supplies, and pulls it towards the edge of the table. His reward is in sight! A pack of gum is within his reach and it's all his!

As children will be children Ben does not realize grandma is right there to stop the theivery. I think she let him have the gum. After all grandmas will be grandmas.

Time to find a new hiding spot...

dookie in the Toilet

Nope. This isn't a post about my sister's puppy. But isn't she so very cute?

I am actually writing about dookie in the potty. You know poo, poopies, dookie, s!&*. Sorry but it has to happen.

Ben pooped in the potty all by himself tonight. Yippee!!!! What a big boy!

He's been using the potty more and more every day but absolutely refusing to poo. Just after getting ready for bedtime (it couldn't have been just before) he decided to use the potty. He had already pottied earlier so I figured it would be quick. He was in there for a good 10-15 minutes. Grunting away. He kept saying things like "oooh", "cool", and "thats a big one". Definitely a boy - even with Papa away, we're working on keeping the guy comments around. (hee-hee)

What an incredible obstacle to overcome. Hopefully he will continued tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, etc. etc. I am so very happy for him (and me too!).

Today the potty - tomorrow the pacifier. Yes, you heard me correctly. {heavy sigh}

Tears Keep Coming

Meloncholy. Sad. Broken Hearted. Tearful. (punky modds just don't cover them all)

It's been one of those weekends. Anxiety started on Thursday and the tears started tonight. The weekend activities of cleaning, organizing and shopping are over and the kids are in bed. The house is cold and may be one of the reasons it feels so lonely. I can't seem to shake the weepiness. Although my eyes will bear the brunt of the situation I'm thinking a quiet and secluded tear-fest in bed might help.

I want to apologize for the pity party tonight but I need to try & get it out and on paper (so to speak).

My heart feels broken tonight. Ben asked to call Daddy tonight but he's unreachable for the next three weeks. I long for his hug and shoulder to cry on.