Recently, I have found it difficult to even visit some of the other Navy wives I frequest. Most times I receive support from their words of wisdom and even just knowing others are out there with the same circumstances is comforting. When a wife (or family) is in need I pray - I think its important people realize they are cared for and prayed over. But as I mentioned earlier, I have had a hard time visiting some of these posts.
The last few days visiting with these websites, I have come to miss my best friend even more. It seems that although I read stories from women around the country (even overseas) it makes the distances between Jerry and I so much more. More what? Real? Inconceivable? Far away? Expansive. I find it difficult to comment as I do not want my downward mood to effect others. Although here I am posting it tothe world.
I miss talking to him about the little stuff of life. The flowers blooming, the crack in the windshield, the rocks collected on walks. I think most of all I miss his presence. Just to know he was here in the house or just across the state line was bearable. An ocean? It's just too huge to comprehend.
It seems once a month (hmmmm... that seems kind of pattern like) it dawns on me how very far away he is. Sending a care package was even bittersweet. It's nice to know he will open the box and touch the same items I had touched. He'll enjoy the cookies sent and pictures Ben made for him. To see his expression when he pulls the picture of Ben's self portrait would be heaven.
This journal is my release and I'm hoping it helps enough to relieve the stress enough to enjoy a full night's sleep. Good night.
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3 comments:
Not the same, but similar. I can't read blogs or message boards about people trying to conceive - hits a little too close to home. I don't think there's anything wrong with distancing your self - if that's how you cope, then it's what you need to do. Take Care darlin!
It must be so difficult. I like what you said about him "touching" items you had touched. Hopefully this will all end soon and he can be home talking about the mundane things that make life fun.
I can't say I know how you feel, because I haven't been in your situation, but I feel sad that you are sad.
I hope Ben and Bekah can manage to keep you somewhat distracted until Jerry comes home.
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